The words feel like a knife in JJ’s chest. He jerks away on instinct, eyes widening.“Myfault? How is it my fault?”
His fault?Hisfault? Did he do something wrong? Did he say something he shouldn’t have?
Did Desi realize that JJ’s day job usually involveshurtingdemons like her and Cass, not protecting them?
Cass, though, just looks exasperated. “I saidnotto take it the wrong way, lackey,” he says, and his shoulders hunch. “Usually, when a demon is dragged to Earth from Tamaros, it’s traumatic. It’s—it’s painful. And that’s just the summoning itself—being bound and forced to obey a summoner’s orders can leave even deeper scars. By the time we’re finally free, we usually hate everything about this dimension, and—and that usually includes ourselves. Our true form, because it’s the part of us that humans despise, and our human façade, because despiteall that,we still have to look like them to survive.
“But with Desi…” His jaw works. “She had you. You introduced her toWyvern Academy.You read her picture books about friendly dragons and bought her wyvern plushies that look like her. Not only did you free her from her summoner, but you accepted her true form right from the start. She never learned to hate herself because she knew that you loved her, and she never learned to hate Earth because she lovedyou.You let her feel safe enough to start processing her trauma. That’s the main reason why demons have nightmares—because they finally feel ready to face what was done to them.”
Because you have, in the most literal sense, fought away her nightmares in the past. She feels safest with you.
JJ’s throat feels tight. “Oh.”
“Yeah,” Cass says, and he looks away. “It’s rare for demons to start having nightmares so soon after being summoned. It took me decades, and I think Ez and Obie were the same. It’s not easy to feel safe again after all that. Especially once you realize you can never go home.”
JJ’s heart hurts. “Well, it makes sense with Desi,” he says softly. “Because it’s not just me, right? It’s both of us. You give her that structure, thatstability,that children need. You gave her a home, and I…” He hesitates. “I have, um, a history of saving her from her nightmares. Like you said. So I guess it works best when we work together.”
“Hm.” Cass’s lips twitch. “A hunter working together with a demon. Never thought I’d live to see the day.”
“Yeah. Me, neither.”
For a few minutes, they lapse into silence. That’s not unusual for them, but normally, their silences are tense. Prickly. Just barely resisting the urge to snap at each other for Desi’s sake.
Now, though, even with Desi asleep behind a soundproofing spell, the silence is relaxed. Comfortable.
Almost companionable. For a fleeting second, JJ thinks he could get used to silences like this with Cass.
“So.” Cass clears his throat, arching an eyebrow at JJ. “You and Locke?”
Your boyfriend is cute.
OfcourseCass has to ruin the vibe. Heat flames into JJ’s face. “No. Absolutelynot.He’s practically my brother.”
Cass looks skeptical. “Are you sure?”
Why does everyone seem to think that JJ doesn’t know his own relationship status? “Am I sure that Chester Locke isn’t my boyfriend? Yes. Yes, I’m quite sure about that, thanks.”
“But I saw you two sparring together,” Cass says, still examining JJ like he’s a puzzle to be solved. “He kept flirting with you and making comments about your boyfriend, and—” Something indecipherable flickers across Cass’s face. “Oh. He was talking about someone else?”
JJ drops his head into his hands, mortified. “Yes and no. Yes, he was talking about someone else, but—but no, I don’t actually have a boyfriend.” Reluctantly, he glances up, meeting Cass’s eyes. “I needed an excuse to keep ghosting my friends and escaping into town every time I have a day off, so I told them I have a civilian boyfriend.” He winces. “A civilian boyfriend who, uh, has a four-year-old daughter.”
Cass’s eyebrows shoot up. “SoI’myour boyfriend?”
“You are very muchnotmy boyfriend,” JJ says emphatically. He desperately hopes he isn’t blushing. “But having, um, a partner on the outside is an acceptable reason for me to be sneaking out of the Sanctum so much. And spending all my money. And acting generally secretive.”And walking funny,he adds sourly.
Cass squints at him. “That’s an ‘acceptable’ reason? I thought the Sanctum arranged marriages for its hunters. Bloodlines and all that.”
“Well…” JJ wavers, eyeing him carefully.
This is heading into dangerous territory. Discussing the intricacies of the Sanctum with any demon, much less Cassius Chin, is grounds for punishment at best and execution at worst. Even though the question itself is fairly benign, JJ doesn’t want to risk the Council’s wrath if they ever found out that he dared to answer it.
But, at the same time, Cass does look more honestly curious than anything else. Like he’s genuinely trying to understand JJ’s situation, understand hislife. It’s a good feeling.
Eventually, JJ decides on the truth. “Yes and no. Yes, the Sanctum arranges marriages for us, but we’re also allowed to, um. To have partners on the side. As long as no one compromises the bloodlines, the Council will usually turn a blind eye.”
Cass nods slowly. “So that’s why you allegedly have a boyfriend and not a girlfriend?”
JJ hesitates. “I generally prefer men. And my friends know that, so, uh. Having a boyfriend makes more sense.”
