Cass’s heart hurts. Despite his rocky start with Desi, it looks like she does feel better with him around, does feelsaferwith him around?—
Does want both JJandCass to protect her in her most vulnerable moment.
“Um.” Slowly, carefully, JJ lifts an arm, reaching towards Cass. An invitation. “Yeah?”
Cass’s throat feels like cotton. “Yeah,” he says haltingly, and he clambers onto the bed next to them. JJ is leaning against the wall with Desi in his lap and his legs drawn up, and Cass hesitates before gesturing JJ forward. “Sit up for me?”
Frowning, JJ pushes himself off the wall. Before Cass can lose his nerve, he slides one leg behind JJ’s back, squeezes his other leg across JJ’s lap, and leans forward to wrap his arms around both him and Desi.
Hugging both of them from the side.
All at once, JJ is sitting ramrod straight, stiff and tense like he’s trying to touch Cass as little as possible. Cass can’t quite blame him—despite all evidence to the contrary, theyarestill technically on opposite sides of a war—but it still makes him feel inexplicably sad. “You could try relaxing, Jackson,” he mumbles against his shoulder.
For a long moment, JJ doesn’t move.
And then, unexpectedly, he reaches up and readjusts his scarf, making sure it fully covers the side of his neck.
Probably because, Cass realizes with a jolt, Cass’s forehead got too close to JJ’s skin without him even realizing it.
I’m sorry. I can’t turn it off. I would if I could, but?—
Cass’s chest feels tight. In a flash, he remembers JJ’s violent reaction to meeting Ez and Obie, how his first instinct was to push Cass behind him, to put himself between Cass and the threat?—
At the time, Cass thought JJ’s reaction was just an extension of his natural protectiveness with Desi. Now, though, he’s starting to think that maybe JJ immediately defending Casswasn’tjust a fluke.
Maybe he cares almost as much about Cass’s safety as he does about Desi’s.
With what seems like a great effort of will, JJ leans back until he’s resting against the wall again, curling the slightest bit towards Cass. Barely enough to be noticeable, but just enough to make Cass’s breath hitch. “Is this okay?” JJ whispers.
Cass swallows hard. “Yeah.”
Slowly, JJ drops his chin onto Desi’s hair. “You’re okay, Desi,” he murmurs, and his shoulders relax the slightest bit. “You’re okay.”
Cass doesn’t trust himself to speak. As Desi’s last tears gradually fade into gentle breaths, JJ keeps his head bowed towards her, occasionally whispering soft promises that he and Cass will always protect her, always keep her safe?—
And sometimes,sometimes,he’ll glance up at Cass, a question in his eyes that Cass doesn’t know how to answer.
Not then, and not half an hour later when Desi finally drifts off to sleep, curled up in the arms of two mortal enemies who’d go to the ends of the earth just for her.
It feels like hours before JJ and Cass are tiptoeing out of Desi’s room and quietly closing the door behind them, even though JJ’s watch says it’s not even noon yet. Less than an hour since he was sparring with Chester, less than an hour since he was back at the Sanctum?—
Less than an hour since he felt the solid ground beneath him shifteverso slightly, leaving him unsteady in its wake.
When Cass finally speaks, his voice is low. “Well, that was harrowing.”
JJ almost laughs. “You can say that again.”
Cass watches Desi’s door for a few seconds—probably listening to make sure she’s asleep, JJ thinks—before snapping his fingers. JJ feels a faint tingle of magic settle over the hallway. “Soundproofing spell,” Cass says, his voice back to its normal volume. “I want to stay close for a while, but I don’t want to wake her up.”
JJ casts an anxious glance at the door. “Is it safe to let her sleep again? She could have another nightmare, and—and demons don’t evenneedto sleep, right?”
Cass shakes his head. “No, but it can be helpful after we undergo extreme physical or mental stress. And that was alotof stress for a little girl like Desi. She may be a demon, but since she was summoned in the human façade of a four-year-old, she’s at the rough developmental stage of a human toddler.” Briefly, his eyes meet JJ’s. “And I don’t think she’ll have another nightmare. Not when she knows we’re nearby.”
The easy way Cass refers to them as a unit, as ateam,almost makes JJ’s breath catch. He swallows hard past the strange warmth in his chest. “How’d she even have one at all? I didn’t think demonscoulddream, much less have nightmares.”
For a long moment, Cass considers him.
And then he says, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but it’s mostly your fault.”
