Page 91 of Secrets, Lies and Love
I notice that she asked for orange juice instead of accepting the wine he offered. She remains tense while he serves the drinks and the starter, very focused on the glasses and plates, while I, like someone obsessed, try to decipher her.
“Are you hungry, Cecily?”
“Yes.”
“What’s wrong, then?”
“Nothing more than what I said. Your past, when it comes to women, is not good. I don’t believe in a drastic change overnight.”
“You can go,” I tell the restaurant employees. “I will serve us myself.”
She looks at me in amazement but says nothing.
I watch them leave, confused, and only when I’m sure we’re alone do I speak again. “Want to talk about the past?” I ask sardonically. “What do I know about yours, besides the little you gave me? You didn’t even tell me the name of your dear bestfriend, the man who made you change your life. Why so much mystery, Cecily?”
She becomes as pale as a blank sheet of paper. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You said my history with women is shit. You’re right. I could never be considered a Prince Charming, but I’ve always been one hundred percent honest, and I’m being honest with you too. Can you say the same?”
“Are you accusing me of something?”
“No. If I distrusted you, you wouldn’t be so close to my son, my family.”
“So, what is this about?”
“It’s about you throwing it in my face that I just want to fuck you, and yet, when I try to show that it’s not just that, you sabotage us. I have no patience for childishness. You’re a grown woman. Decide what you want.”
“Or what? Are you threatening me?”
“I don’t threaten. I act. Threats are made by weak people.”
“What if I say that what I want is not you?”
“I’m not going to have you arrested, even though I’m sure you’re lying. You do want me. Really, you want too much, but you’re a coward. You’re afraid of getting hurt. You prefer to live in the background, where they always left you.”
“I don’t prefer it, I?—"
“You got used to no one seeing you. I am here. I see you, I want you, and yet you’re too insecure to deal with it.”
“Because I don’t believe you want me. You think I’m pregnant. That’s why we came here. Tell me the truth at once.”
“Can you handle the truth? Well, here we go: if you’re pregnant, we’ll get married. Otherwise I’ll fight for full custody of the child in court.”
“You’d have the audacity to stop me from seeing my son?”
“Don’t be dramatic. You’ve been with me long enough to know that we Kostanidou value family. What I’m telling you is that if you think you’re going away with one of my children, living in Kansas or anywhere else, allowing me to see them only on scheduled visits, you have no idea who I am.”
“You’re saying that if I’m pregnant, I won’t have a choice. We will stay together, even if you start to hate me. Even though you didn’t want me around from the start and even though you despised me.”
I close my eyes, the certainty that something is being hidden from me increasing. “Why would I hate you?”
She gets up from the table. “It doesn’t matter. This conversation is useless. I’m not pregnant.”
Cecily
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
It only takesme two seconds to regret what I just said, and I'm even more scared when Dionysus gets up from his chair as well. My fear is not because I think he could do me any harm but because there is nothing left on his face that shows the man I knew.
