“Don’t. I don’t want to talk about this right now,” I said.
We pulled up to Rhodes’ gate and were waved throughafter we gave our names. Rhodes had flown in to go house hunting and I’d helped him pick out this house, so I wasn’t surprised when I saw how impressive it was. But Bernard had something to say about that too.
“Looks like he’s trying to overcompensate for something,” he said.
“Rhodes doesn’t need to overcompensate for anything. He’s the real deal and he can afford a big house, so how about we don’t judge him for that too?”
Rhodes opened the door with the baby and besides seeing how tired Rhodes looked, that perfect bundle of heaven with light brown skin and the sweetest full cheeks asleep in his arms was all I saw. Rhodes handed him to me.
“Here he is. Can you believe him?” he asked.
“Rhodes, he is perfection.” I sighed.
He was only a month old, but he already looked bigger than he had in our video chats. He felt so good in my arms, and he smelled divine.
“I need to feed him,” a nasal voice said.
Rhodes shot me an apologetic expression. “Carrie stopped by to bring over some breastmilk.”
“Well, since I’m here, I’ll just feed him myself and save the rest,” Carrie said, holding out her hands for the baby.
She was gorgeous with her long blonde hair and pale skin with a dusting of freckles. The freckles gave her a friendly, soft look, but the way she assessed me left me cold. This wouldn’t go well. Her lips curled slightly and I handed Levi to her.
“This really isn’t a good time,” she said.
“Carrie, I invited Elle here. And next time, call me before you decide to drop by,” he told her.
I felt a zing of victory that he was defending me, but it disappeared in the next second because she whipped outher boob and fed Levi right there without trying to cover anything in the slightest.
I loved that women could feed their babies this way and I didn’t have any hang-ups about showing skin when they did so, but I knew from the way she went about it that Carrie wouldliterallybe milking this situation.
Bernard stared at her until Rhodes cleared his throat and held out his hand.
“I’m Rhodes. You must be Bernard.”
“Who else would I be?” Bernard said. He laughed, but Rhodes and I just looked at him. “Congratulations. It must be crazy, having a baby. Seems hard to pull off with your career and all.”
“My mom will be here for a while, and we’ll have a lot of help.” He looked at me. “She wants to see you, by the way.”
“I can’t wait to see her.”
“Rhodes, I need a burp cloth,” Carrie said.
The diaper bag was within reach of Carrie, with a burp cloth draped over the top, but Rhodes walked across the room and handed it to her. She smiled up at him and it made my stomach curl over and die.
We had the world’s most awkward lunch. Rhodes kept trying to talk to me and Carrie kept interrupting.
“Sometimes he smiles when he’s sleeping. You’ll see it, I’m?—”
“Oh my God,” Carrie said loudly. “My boobs are crazy hard right now. Oh shit. The milk just dropped again. I swear, I feel like a milk cow. When it first came in, it was intense, right?” She put her hand on Rhodes’ hand and he pulled it away. “I sprayed milk all over Rhodes.”
Bernard froze and looked shocked.
Rhodes laughed sheepishly. “That’s true,” he said.
My form of hell.
I spent a couple of hours there, despite being on the verge of tears the entire time.
