“I understand that this is a very difficult time for you,” said Dr. Vestry. “I’m sorry for that.”
Difficultdidn’t begin to describe it. “Thank you.”
“Jack told me that the exchange is scheduled to take place tomorrow at his office.”
It bothered Zahra the way everyone kept calling it an “exchange.” She was the only one giving. There was nothing in return.
“Yes. Two o’clock.”
“Jack suggested that I meet with you and Yasmin before that happens, if you would like.”
“That would probably be helpful,” said Zahra.
“After the exchange, I would like to make myself available to meet with you. Probably a series of visits.”
“You mean therapy?”
“Don’t worry about the cost. Jack feels terrible about what has happened, and he is covering it.”
“It’s not really the cost. What kind of therapy?”
“All situations are different, but I’ve had many patients in your situation—mothers who have lost custody of a child. I’ve found that the most effective form of psychotherapy combines elements of mindfulness practices and cognitive behavioral therapy. Specifically, ACT. Acceptance and commitment therapy.”
The wordacceptancehit Zahra like a punch to the gut. “Wait. What is the goal of this therapy?”
“Generally, ACT involves learning to accept unpleasant thoughts, emotions, or experiences without viewing them as problems.”
“How is losing my daughter not a problem?”
“It’s a terrible problem, of course. The idea is to gain some detachment from the pain without trying to hide from it or pretend that it’s not there. ACT will help you accept certain aspects of your life without judgment. It’s about accepting realities, especially painful ones.”
Acceptance. Detachment.Those were the farthest things from Zahra’s mind.
“Can we talk about this later?” she asked.
“Of course. But as for tomorrow, would noon in Jack’s office be a good time to meet with you and Yasmin?”
“Yes. That’s fine.”
The call ended, but Zahra’s emotions continued to roil. The anger was returning, but it felt different. It was more like rage, and it was no longer directed at herself. She stepped farther away from the closed sliding glass door, putting more distance between herself and Yasmin in the kitchen, and dialed Jack’s cell. It went straight to his voicemail, and at the beep, her words just flowed.
“Acceptance?” she said into the phone, hissing with anger. “Is that what you and Dr. Vestry want from me? Well, let me tell you something, Mr. Swyteck. I’m notacceptingthis. I’m not a bad mother. I’m a good mother who hired a bad lawyer! You’re the one to blame, not me! I’m going to sue you for malpractice!”
She ended the call. It was her first release of steam since the judge’s ruling, and it left her breathless. She took a minute to gather her composure and then went back inside.
“Look!” Yasmin said.
Thetootwas finished. Yasmin practically had her nose in the serving platter, inhaling the fragrance.
“I changed my mind,” said Yasmin. “I like rosewater. It smells good. We should put it everywhere. It makes everything better.”
It took all of Zahra’s strength to stop the tears from flowing. “Yes,” she said. “Almost everything.”
Jack put Righley to bed at eight o’clock. Andie was in the master bath, getting ready to go out. The babysitter was in the family room watching television. Jack closed the door to Righley’s bedroom and stared down the hall. Only then did he notice that he had a voicemail message. It was from Zahra.
He put the phone to his ear and listened. It stopped him in his tracks.
Jack couldn’t count the number of chilling messages he’d received from clients. Many of them had come from death row. None had hit him the way Zahra’s had. But he didn’t feel an urge to respond. Far from it.
