The mist had given way to soft rainfall, cold enough to be bracing even for someone used to Midwest winters. I took a slow, circuitous route through the hushed streets of Nagano City, hands buried in my coat pockets.
I tried to think—about whatIwanted, regardless of my relationship with Heath—but my head was roiling. Back home, when I felt like this, I would go to the lake and look out at the water until everything became clear. In landlocked Nagano, I had to settle for the next best thing.
I knew the garden was near the hotel, but it still took me a few tries to find the stone lions in the dark. When I stepped past them, I felt like I’d fallen through a portal into another world. My shoulders relaxed as I made my way down the rain-slick stone path to the edge of the pond in the center. Water rushed under a miniature wooden bridge, and Ishut my eyes, savoring the sound. It wasn’t Lake Michigan, but it would have to do.
“Excuse me, this ismymoping spot.”
I spun around. Ellis Dean sat in the shadows under the arbor, smoking.
“Ellis.” I stepped closer. The cigarette smoke stung my eyes. “You know if Sheila catches you with those—”
“You gonna tell her?” He took another drag, the glow of the cherry carving out the hollows of his cheeks.
No, I wasn’t. If he wanted to wreck his lung capacity, that made one less competitor for me to worry about.
I sat down on the other end of the bench. “Sorry about you and Josie.”
Hayworth and Dean had barely qualified for the free dance, and ended up in twenty-second place overall. As disappointed as I was in our result, it could have been much worse.
“Eh, there’s always next season,” he said. “Unless she trades me in for a newer model. What about you, where’s your other half? I heard there was trouble in paradise.”
“Something like that.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
I hesitated, pressing my hands into the cold stone.
“You can trust me,” Ellis said.
That, I didn’t believe for a second. But I needed to talk to someone, and I wasn’t ready to face Heath yet. Not until I figured out how I felt on my own, without all our history and heat clouding my judgment.
“The Lins are looking for new partners,” I told him.
“Shit, really?” He blew out a long stream of smoke. “Don’t tell Josie, she’ll cream her chastity belt. Any idea who they’re going with?”
I bit my lip. Ellis stared at me.
“They want you to skate with Garrett.” He stubbed out his cigarette and turned to face me. “So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
Ellis pursed his lips. “Yes you do.”
“I have to—”
“You’d have to be a fucking idiot to turn down the chance to skatewith Garrett Lin. And you’re a lot of things, Kat Shaw, but you are not an idiot.”
“But…” I swallowed, heartbeat fluttering in my chest. “What about Heath?”
“Boyfriends are easy to come by. Skating partners like Garrett, not so much.”
Especially for women like me—with my body type, my above-average height. If I turned this opportunity down, Garrett would have a hundred girls begging to skate with him by morning. Creating yet another high-performing team for Heath and me to compete against.
If Heath even still wanted to skate with me. Maybe all this soul-searching was a moot point. I might go back to the hotel and find him ready to break things off for good.
“Look, Kat.” Ellis dropped the smug look. Without it, the angles of his face softened; I might even have called him handsome. “I like you.”
I scoffed. “Really.”
