Heath’s chin dipped, almost imperceptibly.Ready.
I lunged at Lee, swiping the knife across his bicep. He let out an enraged yelp—and let go of Heath so he could take a swing at me. I managed to duck the blow but dropped my weapon as I shoved past my brother, racing down the steps. Heath hauled open the front door, letting in a blast of cold wind, then stopped on the other side of the threshold to wait for me.
Lee spat out a flurry of curses as he tripped on the last step and stumbled into the foyer. I kept running, eyes locked on Heath. I was almost there.
But Lee got there first. With one hand, he slammed the door and threw the deadbolt.
With the other, he pressed the blade to my neck.
Nicole Bradford:Katarina and Heath met at the rink, but he wasn’t a skater.
Narrator:Heath Rocha grew up in foster care. By the time he was ten years old, he’d lived with six different families.
Nicole Bradford:I don’t know for sure what Heath’s home life was like, so I don’t want to cast aspersions. I’ll just say his foster parents didn’t seem very…involved. He first came to the rink through a charity organization that offered free sports programs for local kids.
Slow zoom in on a photograph of young boys in hockey gear, highlighting ten-year-old Heath. He’s the only child in the photo who isn’t white.
Nicole Bradford:Heath signed up for hockey, and after his lesson, he’d hang around the rink, like he didn’t want to go home. When he thought no one was looking, he sat in the stands and watched Kat skate. It was clear he had a crush on her. I thought it was cute.
A photograph of nine-year-old Katarina practicing at the North Shore Ice Rink in Lake Forest, Illinois. Zooming in reveals a blurry figure behind her in the bleachers: Heath.
Nicole Bradford:Eventually they struck up a friendship, and he started going home with her for dinner. Even sleeping over at the Shaw house. She hadn’t mentioned her ice dancing aspirations for a few months; I thought maybe she’d finally gotten over it and was ready to go all-in on singles. I should have known she wouldn’t give up so easily.
Stock footage of Lake Michigan in the dead of winter, the waves frozen solid.
Narrator:Katarina taught Heath to figure skate in secret, on the lake near the Shaw home.
Ellis Dean:I took up skating at seven, and that was late. Heath Rocha was almosteleven.
Jane Currer, a severe-looking woman in her seventies with curly hair dyed bright red and a silk scarf in a clashing hue, sits rinkside at the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs.
Jane Currer(U.S. Figure Skating Official): While ice dancers do tend to peak at an older age, skaters who start any discipline past the average age are at a disadvantage. Basic skating skills lay the foundation for future success.
Nicole Bradford:I’ll admit it, I was extremely skeptical. Until I saw them skate together.
Chapter 3
I didn’t fight anymore, as Lee dragged me back upstairs and threw me into my bedroom. As soon as his shuffling steps faded down the hall, I ran to the window. Heath stood on the lawn below, bare feet in the frost-covered grass. His shoulders dropped with relief when he saw me.
For January, it was reasonably pleasant outside: no snow on the ground, the lake still unfrozen. Heath had been chased out in far worse weather. I used to toss things down to him—clothing, food, clean blankets—but Lee got wise to that and screwed the window casing shut.
Heath waved, then turned and walked toward the woods. Lee might not have been able to lock my door anymore, but I was still as good as trapped until he passed out, which could happen anytime between midnight and the break of dawn. I knew where Heath went to hide on nights like this, and I couldn’t risk my brother ruining that too.
I pressed my hand against the pane, like I could touch Heath from a distance, and kept it there until he’d disappeared beyond the twisting branches of the locust trees. When I pulled away, my palm left a streak of red on the glass.
I hoped my brother was still bleeding.
Since our father’s death, Lee was in charge—though he was only five years my senior, and barely capable of looking after himself—and he thought Heath was a bad influence. Bold of him to worry about Heath’s “influence,” when Lee brought a different girl home every week. I’dlost count of the nights I spent with a pillow over my ears, trying to drown out the sounds of those poor girls’ obviously faked orgasms.
The media likes to make my younger years with Heath out to be some sordidFlowers in the Atticshit: the two of us raised together as siblings (we weren’t), left unsupervised to explore our undeniable passion for each other (I wish).
The truth, whether you want to believe it or not, is that Heath and I were both still virgins at sixteen. Sure, we kissed, we touched each other, we slid aside clothing so we could press skin against skin. We knew how to make each other gasp and groan and shudder with pleasure. I knew he wanted to go further. So did I.
In some ways, it seemed absurd to wait. After all, we were already intimate in ways even adults in years-long relationships find difficult to comprehend. We went to school together, skated together, spent practically every waking moment together—and our sleeping moments too, when we managed to sneak past my brother.
Despite that, the upcoming trip to Nationals would be the first time the two of us were truly on our own. We still technically had a coach, though we could barely afford to pay Nicole. My father’s will divided everything equally between Lee and me, including the property, but I couldn’t access my half of the estate until I turned eighteen.
Nicole helped Heath and me out as much as she could—arranging part-time jobs at the rink to subsidize our ice time, assisting with choreography since hiring a professional was out of reach—but asking her to give up days of paid lessons to travel with us for free was out of the question. So we were going it alone, staying several nights in a shabby motel we’d booked because the official event accommodations were too expensive.
