We both laughed, right as Heath came through the door. He looked at the two of us apprehensively, an armful of vending machine snacks clutched to his middle.
I stood up and hugged him, plastic wrappers crinkling between us. “Congratulations,” I said. Then, whispering so only he could hear, “You’ll be a great dad.”
Heath’s shoulders dropped. “Thank you,” he whispered back.
I meant it. Heath’s shortage of good parental role models would make him work all the harder to give his own child the love and stability he’d never had himself.
Hischild.It sounded strange. Somehow, though, it also sounded right. And it was something he would’ve had to give up if he’d stayed with me.
Heath arranged the snacks on the bed for Bella to peruse. She took a sleeve of Oreos. I helped myself to some sourdough pretzels.
“Do you know who won?” Heath asked.
“Francesca and Evan, I assume.” I snapped a pretzel in two and offered him half. “I left before they skated.”
The competition was over by now. Most likely, the committee was already behind closed doors, deciding our fate. I’d submitted the official petition paperwork on our behalf, though I knew it was a long shot. Heath and I were former national and world champions, past Olympians with more international competition experience than all the other top American teams put together. But that experience came with a lot of baggage too. We might simply have too many strikes against us.
For the time being, there was nothing any of us could do except wait. A prenatal specialist was supposed to come examine Bella as soon as possible, but every question we asked the nurses was answered with some variation onJust a little while longer, hon.We found a mindlessly soothing home renovation show on the TV set bolted in the corner and continued working our way through the snack pile.
Finally, someone came to check on us, but it wasn’t a doctor.
Ellis Dean stood in the doorway, holding a Get Well Soon balloon emblazoned with a cartoon face that could have been smiling or grimacing.
“Bella,” Ellis said. “How are you feeling?”
She scowled. “No comment.”
Ellis lifted his hands. The balloon bumped against the low ceiling. “I come in peace. And to tell you to check your goddamn phones already.”
Heath and I both retrieved our iPhones, keeping a wary eye on Ellis all the while. Mine was still in silent mode, but several new messages displayed on the screen.
“Holy shit,” I said.
“What?” Bella demanded. Heath passed his phone to her.
We were on the Olympic team, along with Gaskell and Kovalenko. The 2014 U.S. silver and bronze medalists had been bumped to the alternate spots.
We’d done it. Shaw and Rocha were going back to the Olympics.
“Don’t you dare,” Bella said.
“Of course not.” Heath sat on the bed beside her. “We would never even consider leaving you, not while—”
“Oh my god,stop.” Bella’s heart monitor beeped faster. She flopped back on the pile of pillows and shot me a weary, exasperated look.
“Ellis, could we have a minute?” I said.
He nodded and slipped into the hall, shutting the door behind him. That damn balloon stayed behind, leering at us from above.
I turned back to Bella. “You want us to go to Sochi.”
“Obviously. So don’t youdareeven think about giving up the fuckingOlympic Gamesto stay here and play nurse. I’m a Lin, I can afford to hire real nurses. Besides, Garrett’s landing at Logan in a few hours, and he’s way more nurturing than the both of you put together.”
Fair enough. Heath and I looked at each other. I could tell he was torn—which meant that however much he cared for Bella, and for the child they were about to have together, a part of him wanted to see this through. With me.
In the past, I would have done anything to convince him, to bend him to my will. I wanted to go to the Games, of course. The desireflared in my chest—yet another kind of love, the furnace that had been powering me all my life.
But this was a decision we had to make together.
