“Hell no.” He shot to his feet, too agitated to sit still. “I want in.”
Eric shook his head. “You know Finn. He’d never agree. You’re too close.” Cocking his head to the side, he looked at him through narrowed eyes. “Why is that? What’s between you and Fiona?”
“Nothing. Although if she’d accepted my offer earlier this evening, this might not have happened.”
“Wait. She turned you down?”
At his utter shock, he barked a humorous laugh. “It’s been known to happen.”
“Not in my club that I recall,” Eric returned.
He was probably right, although he didn’t keep track. That would be crass. With his frequent absences, when he returned, he was like a novelty, even though he had been a member since the early days of their opening. New submissives vied for his attention, and those who’d been around for a while, andknew his strict no-relationship philosophy, treated him like a challenge.
“She’s been a tough nut to crack. Shy, introverted, and very selective, she took part in a few scenes early on then nothing. And it wasn’t from lack of trying by our doms. She declined a lot of offers, which was why she often sat alone in subspace. Once bitten, twice shy, as they say. Only a persistent dom or a closeted masochist would go back for seconds of rejection.” Eric ran through his observations aloud, like they often did at team meetings at Rossi when trying to weave together the threads of a difficult investigation. “She watched from afar until tonight then picked Jordan. It makes no sense.”
“She told me she was looking for long-term, which I can’t give her.”
“You could—”
He sliced his hand through the air, cutting him off. “Don’t you start too. Naïve newbies, which is essentially what she is, who are looking for permanence aren’t my thing. Not anymore.”
“It worked out well for you and Claire.”
“Until it didn’t.”
“What are the odds of something like that happening again?”
“More than I’m willing to risk.”
“You’re forty-three and looking at a lot of lonely years ahead of you, my friend. I was stuck in the revolving door of long hours and time for little else except one-nighters until Valerie came along and made me want to change that. She showed me how good it can be.”
Noah had seen the change in his friend. Once strictly regimented and inflexible, he made the perfect CFO for a new company. Tony and Keiran, who ran the Rossi offices, and Dex his counterpart at the San Antonio club all complained about his skinflint ways, saying he squeezed every nickel so tight thebuffalo pooped. Although they weren’t as polite about it and none had ever said poop.
They also acknowledged he was the right man at the right time for the job, and a huge part of their success. But he laughed more since Val, and definitely bent more since she’d entered the picture, although no one dared point that out to the master dom. He supposed that happened when a hardcore dominant fell in love. It had been the same for him with Claire.
He felt a familiar pang in his chest when he thought about what he’d lost five years before. “I already know how good it can be,” he told his friend quietly. “That’s my problem.”
“What are your plans for the future? To continue juggling your surgical practice, volunteering abroad, the foundation, Rossi, and, when you can squeeze it in, the club so you can go right on revolving in that door and never have to face reality?”
His voice laced with annoyance, Noah bit out, “Your psychotherapist wife must be rubbing off on you. When are you hanging out your shingle?”
“I’m right. Aren’t I?”
“So what if you are?” he retorted sharply. “You haven’t experienced the pain of having your perfect life yanked away in the blink of an eye. It’s a pain unlike anything you can imagine. I’m not a masochist. I refuse to set myself up for that agony again.”
“Not even for Fiona?” he persisted, appearing unfazed by the anguish in Noah’s voice. “I heard you leaped the velvet ropes like a hurdler to save the maiden fair and tossed the putz who hurt her, who weighed at least 230, aside like a rag doll. Could it be she’s weakened those shields you’ve erected around your heart?”
His head dropped back, and he stared at the ceiling, groaning. “Fuck me. Do you never give up, man?”
“Rarely,” he returned without a moment’s pause, but then he fell silent. “But I can’t understand the pain you endured,”Eric said at length. “And while I think you’re making the wrong decision, I’ll let it go.”
“Hallelujah,” Noah whispered emphatically.
“Don’t expect my wife to do the same,” his friend warned.
This time, his head fell forward as he groaned. Val’s tenacity rivaled her husband’s, especially when she saw a wrong that needed righted.
His friend clapped him on the shoulder. “I’ll have a word with her.”
