Page 4 of Winter Memories
The house still looks exactly the same as it always has. It makes me feel nostalgic for a time that we’ll never get back.Our home was always filled with laughter and love growing up. It does feel a little emptier now with our parents not here, but there’s still a residual warmth left from them stopping by for Christmas.
They didn’t stay long though. They rolled out in the RV on the first day of the year, intent on beating the snow coming our way. It’s strange not to have them in the house, even though it’s been that way for years now.
I’ll always think of this place as their house which is why I decided to build my own on the property. As much as I love my brothers, and the ranch, I needed a place that’s just my own.
Huxley, the youngest Burns sibling, even younger than our sister Carson who is currently in Denver, is hovering near the stove. He should know better than to tempt Noel to smack him with the spoon he’s currently using to stir dinner. But, then again, Huxley likes to annoy the fuck out of everyone.
It’s part of his charm. At least it’s what he keeps trying to convince everyone of.
Stepping into the kitchen, I let Huxley know, “I’ve checked on the horses. They’re good for the night.”
“Thanks, Fletch,” he grins at me, “I was going to go out after dinner because it smelled so damn good in here and I couldn’t leave.”
“Like I wouldn’t feed you or something,” Noel grumbles and rolls his eyes.
“I would hope not,” Huxley jokes, not at all deterred by the way Noel is eyeing him. He pats his stomach and grins from ear to ear. “I’m a growing boy.”
“If you grow any more, you won’t be able to do your job,” Noel deadpans.
Huxley just smirks, not taking the bait at all. It’s better that he doesn’t. Huxley is probably the fittest of us all because while I’m more than willing to step in and help with the labor on the ranch, the majority of my time is spent dealing with the business side of things and building the breeding program.
Huxley is out in the barn every day with the horses. He keeps in shape by hauling hay bales and fixing any and everything required around the farm. He would have been out there in the barn to take care of the horses, but I wanted to check in on them and make sure everyone was doing okay.
Honestly, I can’t go more than a few days without seeing Buttercup. She’s the sweetest horse and, once upon a time, I considered her to be Eden’s horse. When I’m with Buttercup, I know I’m not alone in missing our girl.
Huxley wiggles his eyebrows and leers in our brother’s direction. “You know I’m the best-looking Burns brother. I get you want to tear me down to build yourself up, but it’s not an attractive quality, Noel,” he admonishes without any real heat behind it.
I snort out a laugh and shake my head because our youngest brother is ridiculous. He’s the comic relief around here, which we desperately need on occasion. Living and running Limitless can feel thankless and impossible as fuck sometimes. Having Huxley around to remind us not to take everything so seriously does us good.
At least, when we don’t want to chase him down and beat the hell out of him. He might be the clown amongst us, without a single malicious bone in his body, but he doesn’t always knowwhen to stop. When he was a teenager, he started a prank war where our dad was caught in the crossfire ending with him shaving his head. I suppose he didn’t have to shave his head, but the pink hair he was sporting, which was meant for me, wasn’t a look Dad wanted to have for longer than it took him to grab the clippers.
Mom had told Huxley to stop before the pink dye incident. Clearly, he didn’t listen. I don’t think I had ever seen dad so pissed off. That’s when Huxley was first given the responsibility of taking care of the horses completely. It’s not like he was unsupervised, but the physical work and the weight of being responsible for the horses ended up being the best thing for him.
Not only did I help him get rid of energy even the sports he played couldn’t touch, but he also found a purpose on the ranch. Up until then he was just the baby of the family. Sure, he had chores, but it’s different when the weight of responsibility is put on your shoulders.
Huxley was always good with the horses. While he loved riding them, being in charge of their wellbeing made him step up in a way which he still takes seriously today.
“Best looking my ass,” Noel grunts and starts to plate up dinner.
Huxley’s voice is an annoying singsong, “You know it’s true. All the ladies think so.”
I can only shake my head because he’s not wrong. Out of the three of us, Huxley has been the most…generous when it comes to his affection. The truth of the matter is he’s a little bit of a manwhore.
The one thing he doesn’t do is string women along. He’s never been interested in a relationship, nothing beyond a nightor two of fun, and he’s upfront about it. I’ve never been able to figure out why he’s so opposed to settling down, but that’s just the way he is.
When my chest starts to ache, I rub the spot right over where my heart beats. It’s a feeling I get whenever I think about settling down. There has only been one woman in my life who made me think about the future. But she’s gone and I don’t think she’s ever coming back.
None of the women I’ve dated in the last 13 years made the longing ache fade. It probably wasn’t fair to them to even try. The truth is that I gave my heart away at 14, when I saw Eden as more than my best friend and neighbor for the first time.
I was so fucking sunk that day. It was the summer before we started high school. Even knowing everyone in our class, both of us having grown up in Wintervale our entire lives, it felt like a big change was right around the corner. It made me twitchy as fuck and I didn’t like it.
I’ve never done well with feeling unsettled. Back then, Eden was the only person who could reach me when I was spiraling. She pulled me back. She grounded me.
Now I’m just better at hiding when I’m internally spinning out. Because I don’t have Eden to stop me from going over the edge into the abyss.
That summer, I don’t know what it was. Maybe it was the way she had begun filling out the one-piece bathing suit she was wearing at the small lake on Limitless’ land where we spent so many spring and summer days. Maybe it was the way the sun was shining down on her and illuminating the natural highlights in her caramel brown hair. Maybe it was the way I knew I wassafe with her because we had grown up together and didn’t have secrets from each other, even the embarrassing ones.
I won’t lie and say I didn’t find any girls cute or attractive, but that was more in passing. It wasn’t like the feeling that slammed into me that summer day all those years ago. My mouth went dry as I looked at Eden and my dick stirred in a way I was still trying to come to terms with. She was so damn beautiful, and I desperately wanted to touch her soft skin.
