Page 14 of Honey Pot
“I don't want it,” I said as the bile climbed in my throat and my hands became clammy.
“You don't want it.” Tony leaned over the table on his hands and stared at me with venom. "Miss Matthews, I will remind you that you are not in charge here."
"Giveme grunt work for a month. I don't care."
"This is grunt work." His jaw ticked. "You go cover this or go home forgood."
We sat there for a moment longer, the tension in the air ticking like a clock as everyone waited to see what we would do. I swallowed the pride that threatened to destroy my career. I ate the fear and the pain I felt clawing at my chest at the thought of what awaited me in Rhode Island. I would not let him take this from me like he took everything else.
“When do I leave?” I asked because all of the other details could wait.
“As soon as you can, they only offered this to a handful of outlets. We were lucky to get our horse in the race.Do notscrew this up, Matthews.” He looked at me, and I could feel how serious he was, but I had been waiting for a job like that my entire life and I hated that it would be attached to him.
“Lacey,” he barked, and she jumped from beside him at the sound.
Her heels clicked against the stone floor as she rounded the table with a folder, slapping it onto the table beside me. She stared at me for a moment longer. Whether or not she was trying to be intimidating, it didn't matter. My heart was in my throat. I couldn't speak even if I wanted to.
Bobbi pushed her chair back, hitting Lacey in the stomach with the back. "Oh shit!" She faked surprise as Lacey groaned and stumbled back dramatically. "I'm so sorry I didn't see you there."
I pressed my lips into a thin line to keep from laughing as Lacey smoothed out her skirt and wandered back to her spot at the table. Tony went on with the rest of his meeting as the noise faded out, and I flipped open the folder of information. Bobbi snuggled closer to look as I flipped through the profiles of each team member.
"There you are," I whispered as I found his photo.
His bleach-blond hair was shaved close to his scalp, and his skin was paler than I had ever seen. His face had slimmed out and became sharp without baby fat. He wore a bright smile that pushed up to his eyes and showed off his pretty, white teeth. It didn't hide how worn out he looked. New lines around his eyes made them look hollow and distant.
He was exhausted.
That was not the boy I remembered, the sun-kissed lover with ocean-blue eyes, but I could see him hiding behind whoever was in that picture.
"Is that?" Bobbi's voice dropped as she slid the folder closer to herself. “Mar.” She looked up at me after taking the time to read over the information. “Are you sure?”
She was the only person that had ever heard about him. Drunken, crying fits that happened in moments of weakness. She knew exactly what I was doing. I nodded.
I had never been so unsure about anything.
I locked the door to my loft behind me as I wandered through and tossed all of my belongings on the island in the large industrial kitchen. A massive bouquet of flowers sat on my island, and I plucked the card from within the roses, pricking my finger on a stray thorn.
“Ow,” I sucked on the pad of my finger as I flipped the card open.
I miss you
Of course, they were from Julien.
“How the hell did you get in my house?” I said out loud to no one but the roses before hauling them off the counter and chucking them into the garbage. “I don't miss you, Julien.”
He had been what I thought I wanted for a long time; tall, with dark hair and big brown eyes. He was a lawyer who worked under some big political names here in Austin. He was sweet and attentive, and the ring he proposed with still sat on my nightstand. But…
He could never erase how Cael had made me feel, which wasn't fair to him. It wasn't fair to anyone. So, in the three weeks I had asked for space from Julien, I had slept my way through the rougher population of Austin and still didn't feel anything.
Or at least Ihadn't until I saw Cael's photo in that folder.
Bobbi had proclaimed loudly how bad of an idea it was to go to Rhode Island with the hopes and dreams that Cael might still harbor feelings for me after all these years, but I had to know for myself, and I'd earned a viable reason to go.
My phone rang on the counter and, despite seeing his dumb, pretty face, I answered. “Hello, Julien.”
“God, I love it when you say my name like that,” he mumbled on the other end.
“I thought we were taking a break?” I flicked the card from him across the wood top island and watched it fly in the air.
