Page 24 of Driftwood Daffodil
Carissa: Why not? Don’t tell me you’re worried about Darry finding out?
Of course I fucking was.
Me: You should be worried about it too.
If Darry found out he’d probably beat the crap out of me, which would be well deserved. I wouldn’t blame him if he put a bullet between my eyes. But it was more than that. I was tired of feeling this way. Broken and dirty. I wanted to be better than what I was.
Carissa: We’ve had this talk before, besides, you need me. No one knows you like I do, Gio.
She did have a point. It was her that showed me how good it felt to have complete control over someone. I didn’t even know I had that side. Sex was just sex. I’d bust my nut and move on. She was the one that taught me it could be more.
It could be all consuming, addictive, and more satisfying than any therapy on the planet. And I tried a lot of therapy. I spent years seeing a shrink after my mother died. It didn’t do shit.
Carissa: I know what you need Gio.
Me: I can find it somewhere else.
I had too.
Carissa: Sure, you might find some little girl who will play along, but that’s not what you want.
My free hand fisted as the next text came in.
Carissa: You need to punish someone.
It bothered me how well she knew me. Did I want to own a girl so completely that I controlled her next breath, yes. But I also wanted her to fuck up and fight back, so I could reign her back in. Watching someone bend to my will was the only way I could find some peace.
It was a game I played in everyday life. Carissa saw that. That was how she lured me in with her little games. And I hated how easily I fell for it. I still wanted to fall for it.
Carissa: You know you want to punish me.
She got that one right. I wanted snap her fucking neck.
Me: Don’t push me.
Carissa: You like it when I push you.
This bitch…
Me: Cut the shit, I’m not in the mood.
Carissa: Well, I am.
Me: Good for you. Go fuck your husband.
Carissa: He’s asleep.
I rolled my eyes.
Me: And how’s that my problem?
I was done with this game. That is until the next text came through.
Carissa: I’ll use the Manhandler.
My brow arched down at the words on my screen. The Manhandler was a giant dildo she hated using. She must be pretty desperate to pull that offer out. Or she was bluffing.
Me: Prove it.
