“So you’re cool with us?” Arran cocks his head like a confused dog.
“I’m not pissed at her anymore, but I think your timing is a bit screwed up.”
He runs a hand through his thick, cropped brown hair and frowns. “I know. I don’t want to admit it to Jade, but her grandmother’s disapproval is worrying me.”
Sighing, I focus on him and empathize. Relationship stuff can suck ass, but when a disembodied voice offers him an ominous statement during the most vulnerable and fulfilling moment of his life—claiming his mate—it had to have rocked his world.
“We don’t even know if it reallyisher grandmother,” I say with a shrug. “And… uh, I am happy for you. It’s no small thing to have a bond with someone you feel you have a mate match with.”
He nods, but still looks a bit off-center. “I’m going for a run.”
“I’m going to track down the other phoenix here.”
Arran strips down, shifts into his regular wolf form, and races off to the woods. He’s chasing his personal demons. Withthe image of his terrifying monster form in my mind, I still can’t believe he didn’t hurt Jade during their mating. She really did tame his berserker werewolf.
I fuss a bit in the house, delaying my talk with Raithe. As I open the door, I find him standing outside, ready to knock.
“Hey,” he says with a wide grin.
Raithe is so much more easygoing than I am. I wonder how many times he’s died and regenerated. I doubt if any of them could be as bad as my last rebirth. He wouldn’t be so smiley if he went through the torture I did.
“Hey.” I try to relax my shoulders and appear calm, but being around another phoenix stirs up a lot of emotions for me. Loss, anger, longing, and jealousy. “I was coming to see you.”
“Good to hear. I didn’t want to push myself on you if you weren’t up for company.” Raithe glances behind himself and then suggests, “Would you like to take a walk or maybe stretch our wings?”
I consider my emotions right now. “Uh, walking is probably best.” I shut the cabin door behind me and step out into the sun. We are on the earth plane, I can sense that much, but nothing beyond that. However, I haven’t been trying too hard to pin it down. If someone were to mind probe me, then I don’t want to give up our secret location. And I really don’t want to bring down the witches and warlocks upon Raithe and his mates.
“I know the cabin is cramped, but I hope you’re able to make it work. When Darius and I shared it with Amira, it was tight. I can’t imagine adding two more large males to the coven and staying in there.”
“We aren’t a coven,” I correct him. “Well,I’mnot one of Jade’s mates.”
Raithe’s eyebrows rise with disbelief. “Oh? I could have sworn I sensed something between you. Sorry.”
“Uh, yeah… it’s complicated.” I rub the back of my neck and feel my heart racing. How much do I tell him? Maybe I should tell him everything and get an outsider’s perspective. I’m all turned around and twisted up.
Raithe nods and walks toward the woods. “I understand complicated. I hadn’t expected to be with a witch… or a woman, for that matter. I’m usually attracted to males. But then Amira came along and captured my heartandmy balls.” He laughs, shaking his head, likely remembering falling for his mate.
“I’m bi with a leaning toward males. But I don’t think I can be intimate ever again,” I confess.
His gaze darts down to my crotch, probably wondering if I’ve lost mydangly bitsas Jade would say and why they didn’t come back in a regeneration.
“No. Notthat. My last death fucked up my head pretty badly.”
“Sorry to hear that, brother.” He reaches out to pat my shoulder and thinks better of it, dropping his hand to his side.
I don’t tell him it’s okay, because it’s not. A stranger’s touch makes me want to scream. Sure, I allow my pack to occasionally buddy-pat me, but even that doesn’t bring me any comfort.
Oddly, Jade’s touch during our mental shield training didn’t seem to bother me. I wonder if Osen being inside her was the reason. Then I remember I didn’t enjoy Osen’s touch since my last incarnation.
There’s something different about her. But I still don’t know if it’s wise to pursue it when so much is unknown about her origins and who she may be.
I can’t risk it.
“So… you left a big piece of yourself behind last time?” Raithe asks.
“Yeah. You know how it is. We always lose memories or some bits with each death. After the last one, I wish I didn’t come back.”
“Fuck,” Raithe hisses. “My flames feel your pain.”
