“Okay.” She coos, sadness lacing her words, “It’s okay.”
I dart my eyes back to her, searching for her meaning. Has she already given up on us? Do I want her to fight for me? Should I be that selfish?
“Stop it,” she says firmly. “I can see your thoughts spinning. I don’t need your mind-reading power to glean that. I’m saying it’s okay. We can wait until you’re sure. This only makes me want to test my resilience more. If I’m able to take flames, magic, and hits, then I’ll be able to handle you.”
“We don’t know that.”
“Then we find out what I can handle.” She clasps the sides of my face and stares right into my soul. “I’m not giving up on you.”
She’s so understanding it cracks my black heart. I haven’t even told her the main reason I can’t claim her. Not yet. Maybe never.
I’ve never felt the need to cry more than I do now. If only I were capable, she would know how deeply I feel for her.
But I can do something else…
“I love you more than you’ll know,” I whisper the phrase, like the sacred words they are.
“And I love you.”
18
MISSING PIECES
JADE
There’s more to Maxum’s resistance, but I don’t push him to explain. When he’s ready to tell me the full story, he will.
A demon mating rut might be intense, but I’m sure there are ways to ensure my safety. Maybe we could chain him up… that would be hot.
But only if he’s ready to make that commitment.
It’s strange to have him wavering now. He was so confident about us until we found out about my demon nature.
Perhaps this has something to do with his aversion to the hell realm. Do I now remind him of what he left behind? What he escaped?
He holds my hand as we stroll back to the cabin. At least he hasn’t completely retreated from me. I won’t pressure him to be with me. He has to want this. Want us. If he’s having second thoughts, I have to find a way to be okay with his decision. I hopeif he doesn’t want me, he will be my friend, because I don’t want to lose him completely.
We’re quiet, and I use the time to assess how my mate bonds feel with Arran and Flint. Separated like this, even if it’s not more than a quarter mile away, I can feel the cord pulling thin.
I wonder what it feels like when mates travel to different locations. Does it pain them to be apart? I suppose I’ll likely find out if we ever get to move on to a normal life.
I chuckle to myself.
“What’s funny?” Maxum asks with a curious expression.
“I was thinking about my life in the future and realized I won’t ever be normal again.”
“You will find normalcy within this new reality,” he assures me.
“I guess so.” I nod noncommittally. “It might take a while since there’s so much I don’t understand about supes and demons and whatever else I don’t have a clue about.”
“We will help you navigate it.” Maxum squeezes my hand. “You aren’t alone anymore.”
That simple promise hits me in the chest like a punch. I stumble with the emotions that come with it. He won’t abandon me.
I’m not alone.
“Fuck,” I mutter and grasp at my heart.
