Page 48 of Enchanting Her Monsters
I’d growl at him if I thought it’d do any good. But he’s probably right. I need to figure my shit out.
Why isn’t it as easy as in books? Why can’t I just wave my hands around and be the biggest badass magic wielder around?
I need a montage!
Then the words that I’m a ‘good-for-nothing loser’ring in my head, in my sister-mother’s voice and in Rob’s.
Why can’t I instantly disregard all my emotional abuse and trauma from my entire existence? Why can’t I get over my insecurities? And why can’t I accept the kind words from strange, sexy monsters when they tell me I’m amazing?
Okay, I’m handling that last one better than I thought. But I have enough life experience to know my emotional hang-ups will rear their ugly heads occasionally.
I’ve been alive long enough to know I’ll have days when I’m feeling vulnerable. Because the scars and effects of abuse don’t just completely vanish because the source of the pain is gone. Even when the new people in my life are wonderful.
But I know with my guys at my side, any trauma will be easier to move past and conquer.
16
ELECTRIC FIRES
JADE
“Ican help you learn to control your electric powers,”Osen offers.“Calder could help too since he has fire affinity that I assume would be similar.”
“I’d like to work on this without the pressure of an audience,” I announce. As the crowd disperses, I hurry over to Calder. “Would you help me?”
He looks over my shoulder at the other guys, then back at me in confusion. “You want me?”
“If you want me to find someone else, I get it.” I wave my hand, erasing the request. “Osen said your experience with fire magic might be helpful.”
Calder uses his fingers to comb back his auburn hair, and I watch his arm muscles flex with the simple movement.
“Uh, I…” he pauses and waits for everyone to leave the area.
I wait patiently for him to tell me what he needs to get off his chest. Either he wants to help, or he doesn’t. I will not force him.
“It’s just… I haven’t been able to work with fire magic since my last death.”
“Oh.” I cover my mouth, feeling regret for bringing it up. “I wouldn’t have asked. I didn’t know…”
“I don’t think Osen or the guys have figured it out yet.” He nods behind him, where his now hidden wings would be. “My wings light up. I guess they didn’t think much about it.”
“Is your magic gone forever?” I ask, then grimace. I probably shouldn’t ask that sort of thing. “Sorry, ignore me.”
Calder fiddles with his fingers. “No. It’s okay. You can ask me anything. Weirdly, I don’t feel defensive talking about it with you. I suppose I thought the guys would think less of me.”
“How could they? You’re a freaking amazing phoenix!” I say with enthusiasm.
His mouth turns up at the corners, and he lets a gorgeous smile out on his handsome face. “Thanks. This is what I mean. You’re so new to all this, you’re excited by the little things.”
“You’re definitely not little.” I chuckle when I hear the innuendo. “But yeah, I try to be excited by life—even the mundane—which you, being a mythological creature, are not. Take the compliment, brat.”
He smirks at my sass. “I suppose I can guide you through some things to get you going. I don’t currently need magic to talk about it.”
“And maybe you just have the yips.”
Calder jerks his head in confusion. “Yips?”
“It’s a human sports thing. Usually, it’s thought of as a state of nervous tension affecting an athlete, making them freeze or spasm. They get all up in their heads and have performance anxiety.”
