Page 29 of Enchanting Her Monsters
“Don’t—” I warn. I don’t want him to push me into anything. I need to set this pace.IfI set a pace.
He smirks playfully. “I wanted to tell you I’m falling for Jade.”
Their body jerks as if Jade was surprised by this information enough to animate her shock.
“And how is that my business?” I bite my lip. I figured he was becoming infatuated. How could he not? She is his entire world—literally. And she has mind blowing sex with our pack. Jade is an incubus’ dream girl.
“It’s your business because I still love you, and you’re part of our pack. I’m still here, watching. I see how Jade is healing us. I was hoping I could take her lead. Help you like I should have done the last time you died. I was scared and too caught up in myself to help heal what that witch did to you.”
“You couldn’t have helped,” I argue. But is that true?
“Maybe, maybe not. But I know now why I didn’t try. I felt rejected when you no longer wanted my touch. Selfishly, I made it about me… that I wasn’t good enough. Wasn’t lovable enough. I believedyoushould have fought your trauma to be with me again.” He curses himself. “But I should have done more to fight for you.Withyou.”
“You…were insecure?” I say in disbelief.
“Are you kidding? Behind all my swagger, I’m a fraud. Sure, I can make someone orgasm just by a snap of my fingers, but that doesn’t equate to real love. Or being worthy of love. A fucking vibrator can do the same thing I can.”
“Not quite.” I chuckle. “But I get your point. Although it was a wonderful bonus how you could make me feel sexually, I didn’t love you and want to be with you for your incubus magic.”
“Why did you love me?” he asks, sounding more vulnerable than I’ve ever heard.
“Yeah, there was the physical aspect, but there was also the laughter. The loyalty. I loved how your mind worked, your passion for life, and your protectiveness.” My voice comes out strong and with conviction, but I can’t look at Jade while I talk. It feels like it would betray my feelings for Osen by gazing at her beauty when I did. And my budding feelings for her might get mixed up in all the emotions I have for him.
“I feel the same,” he whispers, modulating his voice lower, likely picking up my reservations about talking through Jade. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” I gaze at the creek, watching the water cascade over the smooth rocks. “But I don’t know what you want from me right now.”
“I want you to be happy—whatever that looks like,” Osen says earnestly.
Daring to look at them, I demand, “What? You want me to fuck Jade and pretend it’s you? Because it’s not you. Not really.”
“Then maybe you should give in to your feelings for her. See if you can touch and be touched again.”
My eyes flare with irritation. “Stay out of my relationship with her!”
“Fine. But I know for a fucking fact that she would let you take her right now if it would heal you.”
“I don’t need to be a thing of pity!” I jump up and clench my fists at my side.
“Neither of us thinks that.” Osen jumps to his feet to match me. “She wants you, you idiot!”
I shake my head, confused. “No. That can’t be true. I was an asshole. She’s only getting mixed up because of you being inside her.”
“Believe what you want.” Osen gives me a dismissive wave.
“Osen!” Jade shouts, cutting through to take over her body again. Her face instantly softens, and she says quietly, “Calder, I like you. And I care about you. But I won’t ever pressure you into anything.”
“What are you saying?” I take a step closer. Is it hope bubbling in my heart? Could she really see me as someone she might desire?
“I want to be there for you in any way you’d want me to be,” she says.
I charge forward. I need to set her straight. Shecan’twant me. I grab her by her wrists and pull them behind her back. I clasp them together in one of my hands, pinning her so she can’t move—or touch me.
My other hand grasps her jaw, forcing her to look at me.
She gasps that I’m suddenly towering over her—manhandling her. Her eyes are wide with shock.
“Is this what you want?” I demand, searching her face, taking in her beauty and her strength.
