Page 18 of Enchanting Her Monsters
7
MEMORIES
OSEN
This sweet witch is breaking my shadowheart.
Jade’s soft touch—physically and emotionally—has me on my metaphorical knees. Even though she has fallen into a deeper level of sleep beyond the shadowscape where I can interact with her, she is still somehow manifesting here with me. She’s snuggled into my arms with her head tucked under my chin.
The shadowscape is an extremely convincing representation of real life. An incubus or succubus can create our surroundings and lure in our next target and feed, making our food source believe they are somewhere safe or terrifying, depending on our fickle moods. We can mimic almost anything, but it falls short in many ways. Mainly, that itisn’treally living. I can’t freely interact with my pack, and I can’t help make the realms a better place for those I care about.
And Jade? I can’t truly enjoy her the way I want to. Every time I bring her here, I feel like I’ve trapped her or forced her to be with me.
In a way, I have. Though not on purpose. My soul being stuck inside her body and mind isn’t either of our faults. But I feel more like a leech than I ever did in life.
When she spoke about releasing my spirit earlier, I panicked. I shouldn’t. Ishouldjust accept that my reckless actions finally caught up to me in that alleyway.
But now that I’ve found her and I realize how much Calder feels for me, I don’t want to move on from this life. I want to find a way to live—with them.
Jade hasn’t said it, but I sense she would allow me to remain with her forever, as long as I behave myself.
I’m tempted to go along with that, but for my sanity I need to materialize in a tangible way or let go somehow and move on beyond the veil.
I don’t want to move on though. I want to become a real member of this pack again. More than I was before.
I want Calder. I want to help heal him as I should have done before. Like Jade is doing now.
I can see it. He’s changing. I’d love to claim it was about me. That my death shook him up enough to come out of his unhappy existence. Except that would be a lie.
Jade is our savior—for the entire pack.
I stroke her soft cheek and wonder how accurate my illusionary shadowscape is.
Closing my eyes to this imaginary place, I focus on Jade’s energy and how she truly feels intertwined in me. In some ways, this bond we have is more intimate than what the others have. Not that I deserve it. Not yet.
I sink into the darkness and fall deeper into the place where Jade dreams.
I open my eyes to find myself inside her dreamscape.
A shiver goes through me when I realize where I am.
The wretched alleyway where I died.
I’m standing next to her. Jade has taken my spot, reliving what I remembered from that night and what we saw together right before Rob attacked us.
“Jade?” I ask as Rob’s cloaked figure appears at the end of the alleyway.
She tears her gaze away from his ominous presence and looks at me in confusion. “Osen? Why are you outside of me?”
“You’re dreaming, and I’m along for the ride.”
“Oh, lucid dreaming. I do that.” She bites her lip, looking a bit confused, and glances between us. “I’m just not used to seeing your memories with you beside me.”
“Same for me.” It’s strange. I’ve been her ghost since I first died and possessed her. But I’m more aware now. More myself.
Jade takes a nervous step back, glancing around for an escape. “We should go to a different memory now,” she says with a shaky voice.
I capture her arms and make her focus on me. “I don’t relish the idea of reliving my death moment, but I wonder if maybe we should both witness this again with an analytical lens. Maybe catch something we didn’t last time. A clue.”
