Page 22 of A Rebel's Shot
He rubbed the back of her hand. “Seems more than a dislike.”
“Yeah.” She laughed, but it was almost a sob. “More like a crushing, irrational fear.”
“Okay.” He nodded. “Can you tell me about it?”
He leaned forward, his warm hand still wrapped around hers.
She took a deep breath and forced out the story she’d tried to forget. “When I was eleven, I went to a wilderness camp in Montana. One night, me and two of the girls decided to sleep under the stars instead of in the tents.”
She gulped, but the fear didn’t go down. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to get control. She really didn’t want to break down crying or, worse, pass out in this busy restaurant. Tiikâan’s hand slid up her arm and squeezed.
“You don’t have to tell me.” His thumb ran across the inside of her forearm.
She curled her hand around his arm, mirroring his hold on her, and opened her eyes. His gaze never left her face and had no disdain or impatience on it.
Just concern.
Like he really wanted to understand why.
Maybe talking about it would help. If nothing else, he’d know why she tried to climb through her seat that morning when the bears crossed the runway.
“I woke up to a crunching noise and bloodcurdling screams.” She gulped down the bile that rose up her throat. “The three of us had slept lined up. The bear had chomped on the head of my friend in the middle.”
She shuddered, and he squeezed her arm. “Thankfully, it crushed her skull and killed her instantly, and me and the other girl were able to scramble away. But I’ll never forget the sound of teeth on skull for as long as I live.”
“Wow.” Tiikâan swallowed, his lips pressing into a tight line as he shook his head, and she didn’t feel like her fear was such an abnormal thing. “I’d say that would cause anyone to have a phobia of bears.”
“Your story sounds just as bad, maybe even worse, but you don’t seem to be cowering at the thought of the beasts.”
“Yeah, but I’ve spent my life in the woods and around bears.” He exhaled a laugh. “Heck, we had several books detailing stories of surviving bear attacks growing up that’d we’d read on camp trips around the fire.”
“That’s just wrong.”
“That’s just life, at least up here,” he countered with a shrug. “Honestly, I think my dad did it so that we’d not only have an understanding of the predators around us, but also have stories in our memories of how to survive.
“Maybe some kickback to the warriors of old tellingstories of their encounters. Who knows, but if something like what had happened to you had happened to me, I probably wouldn’t be hunting bear in the woods alone.”
“Yeah, but you aren’t even fazed by your experience.” She pushed her trembling fingers of her free hand through her hair.
“It’s not that I wasn’t scared. Believe me, I’m surprised I didn’t have to change my underpants when it was all done. And the entire time I was getting everything loaded and out of there, I was paranoid by every little sound.”
He leaned forward like he really wanted her to hear the next part. “But I also know that baiting bears is dangerous. I’m practically begging them to come to me. And what happened to you was probably the same.
“The food from the campout, even the toothpaste the girl used, could’ve acted as bait, especially if that was a regular camp area. But most bears in the wild steer clear of humans and only really attack if their cubs are there or there’s food to protect.”
He was probably right.
Maybe.
She still didn’t think if she were him, she’d pop back into the woods after being attacked by a grizzly, but it felt like he got why she’d be afraid. While her dad had taken her to counseling, he never quite understood how she couldn’t control her fear.
Even a trip to the zoo would induce panic. To him, his philosophy of “Fear is just a four-letter word. You’ve got to face it head-on and show it who’s boss” extended into every single aspect of life.
Mostly, she’d been able to live up to that motto. It helped there weren’t bears where she went. But Alaska wasn’t like everywhere else, and the one part of life she hadn’t ever gotten a handle on was seemingly around every corner.
“Well, I’m glad you didn’t end up dinner.” She smiled and released her death grip on his arm. “It would’ve been a hassle finding another pilot on such short notice.”
Talking had helped.
