Page 13 of It Takes Three To Tango
“Tell us all, Auntie, what was his name?”
“His name was Salvatore. He was very handsome and so charming. He was a dancer as well, that’s how I met him. I would have done anything for him and he’s one of the reasons I didn’t settle in the States. I could never be away from him for too long.”
“Do you regret that?” Florencio is hanging on every word.
“I regret nothing. I’m happy with how my life turned out. I never regretted the chance of love.”
“Did you want to marry him?” Rafe asks.
“In a heartbeat. But that’s the thing about love. You don’t get to choose who you fall in love with.”
“Then why didn’t you?” This is from Florencio.
Estrella pauses slightly and her voice takes on a brittle tone.
“I don’t think his wife would’ve approved.”
I stand on the terrace, leaning on the barrier wall. The city is spread out down below, a mesh of lights I can follow all the way down to the harbour. The air is still warm even at this late hour.
I hear a sound behind me but don’t turn around, simply sensing the presence next to me. I catch a hint of citrus and vanilla—it’s Rafe.
“Constantin painted a vivid picture, didn’t he? Do you think you’re missing out, not having experienced love?”
“I haven’t really thought about it much before. I’ve always considered it a lofty notion.”
“Don’t you think everyone deserves love?” he says, his expression almost pitiful. I think of my father.
“No, not everyone. I can think of plenty of people who don’t deserve such happiness,” I scoff, but he doesn’t smile.
“Is love happiness?” he muses, as if asking himself thequestion. “It seems much more visceral than the lightness of merely being happy.”
“Exactly, an emotion for the thinkers, those who take life seriously. I’ve never allowed myself to get close enough to anyone to believe love could be a possibility.”
“Don’t you think you deserve love?” He turns his gaze on me.
I shrug. “I don’t get that luxury.”
His brows furrow like I’ve just said the saddest thing he’s ever heard.
“Why not? What if Estrella’s right and you don’t get to choose?”
“I’ll just make sure that never happens,” I say blithely, and look away until I can no longer feel his gaze on me.
I steal a look at him instead as he stares out over the city. There’s something about the set of his jaw that’s different. It’s harder, like he’s grappling with an inner demon.
“What about you? You said you’ve never been in love, are you missing out?” I throw his own question back at him.
He doesn’t answer for so long that I think he hasn’t heard me, so it’s a surprise when he does speak.
“Just before I came here tonight, I received some news that made me rethink the last two years of my life. Along with Constantin’s portrayal of an emotion I thought I knew, but now realise I have no concept of. I feel adrift right now, not sure what’s real or not, and I don’t know where I’m going. I feel like I’m travelling, but I have no destination and no map to guide me.”
“You know the greatest adventures can be found that way.”
His smile is wistful as he looks at me.
“You don’t need to decide what your future is, just what you want to happen next,” I add, surprising myself with arather insightful remark. Maybe keeping the company of Rafe and Constantin is having an effect on me.
He looks at me for a second before turning his head back to gaze over the city lights. I watch him. There’s a lightness to his face that wasn’t there before, like he’s cast off a heavy weight. The small amount of light shows the shape of his jaw and picks up some highlights in his hair, making it appear golden. He looks timeless, like the surroundings. He’s also one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever seen. I want to kiss those cupid’s-bow lips. I want to know if they’re as soft as they look. I wonder what they taste like.
