“Shit,” John swore, shooting up out of his chair. He'd forgotten all about Adam's appointment with the surgeon. Before John had left Adam's place on Sunday, he'd finally returned Adam's car keys, then promised to take time off work to meet him at the doctor's office.
John stepped out from behind his desk, patting his pockets to make sure he had his own keys, then lurched to a stop when his office door opened.
“Whoa,” Ward said with a chuckle, nearly running right into him. “Sorry.”
John waved off the apology with a quick flick of his hand and tried to get past him.
“I was just out by the riesling fields,” Ward said as he stepped aside. “The neighbor's weeds are–”
“Not now,” John interrupted him. He couldn't take any more problems that week, especially when he had somewhere else tobe. His boy needed him, so he had to be focused on that, even while his skin crawled with the need to fix the growing pile of issues there at work. “I'll be back later.”
John rushed out the door, got into his truck, and took off as fast as he dared, not wanting to be late.
And with everything else on his mind, whatever Ward had been about to tell him was completely forgotten.
Chapter 22
_________
ADAM
ADAM SAT in the waiting room, grinning to himself as both nerves and excitement kept his entire body buzzing. He'd gotten there not just on-time, but early. Adam checked his phone again. Still no response from John. The poor man was probably stuck at work. Adam had texted him two days ago, wanting to make sure he was okay. Several hours later, Adam got a simple, hasty text back, John saying he was fine but exhausted and busy and that they'd talk again that weekend.
But John had promised he'd be at this appointment. Adam fidgeted in his seat. He wanted John to be there. To be part of this big step with him. But what if John didn't want to see or hear any kind of proof of what lay beneath Adam's clothes? Even in something as simple as a conversation with a doctor about breasts.
What if the whole thing turned John off?
Adam started to feel his skin prickle with that old, familiar sense of abandonment when the door flew open and John rushed into the room.
Shit. Adam blinked. John looked awful. There was no other word for it. His eyes were bloodshot and darkened with heavybags beneath them. His skin looked pasty and pale. And his normally neatly-trimmed hair and beard looked almost wild. The man was in desperate need of a haircut, especially when John ran his hands back through his hair and made it stand up wildly about his head.
John spotted him and let out a heavy breath. “Hey. Sorry I'm late.” He sank into the chair beside Adam. “Work has been a nightmare.”
Adam winced. “I'm sorry.” He wanted to say something to cheer the man up, but what?
Other than the one thing he couldn't yet say. The one word John wanted to hear more than anything.
Adam took a deep breath, trying to see if he could force it out, but before he even managed to brace himself for it, a door opened and a nurse called his name.
John rubbed his back and gave him a tired smile. “You ready?”
Adam wiped his palms on his shorts and nodded rapidly, his heart racing with excitement and anticipation. “Yeah.”
He got up and followed the nurse, with John right behind him. They got settled in a room, Adam seated on an exam table while John held up the wall just behind him, staying present but out of the way.
The doctor came in and introduced himself, shaking hands first with Adam, then with John. He sat down on a rolling stool and asked Adam a series of preliminary health questions. Then they discussed Adam's mental state and what he hoped to get out of the surgery. Since Adam had been on testosterone for so long and had already legally changed his name, the doctor said he'd wave his usual requirement of a psychiatric evaluation. They could jump right into the surgery without any other steps or red tape.
Adam beamed.Holy shit.This was really going to happen!
Then the doctor stood up and said he wanted to do an exam so he could plan the best course of action, since there were different surgical techniques depending on what he had to work with. He brought out a small gown—it looked like a half-jacket, but without any way to close it—and set it on the table at Adam's side.
“I'm going to step out. Put that on with the opening in front, and I'll be back in a few minutes.” The doctor paused, glancing at John. “If you want some privacy for this part–”
Adam sucked in a breath, his heart kicking into high gear. The very last thing he wanted was for John to see his naked chest, but he also didn't want to be alone with the doctor while the man examined him up close. Not that he didn't trust the doctor, but he knew having someone touch himtherewas going to wreck him. He needed John to stay.
“Um.” Adam trembled, then glanced back at John. The man stood there silently, his face open despite how tired he looked, waiting for Adam's decision. “Just don't look, okay?”
John nodded. “Okay.” He shifted to the side, putting himself more directly behind Adam instead of just over his shoulder.
