I kick back twice as hard and raise my hand to the server for a drink.
I leavehim half an hour later, my body and mind restless and eager to get moving. There are still many more stops I need to make before I can go home. Normally, I would be dreading the return to the castle, but instead, I find myself frustrated, almost anxious to get back, as though something… or someone… is pulling me back.
FIFTEEN
Eirabella
Dear Janus,
I’m on my second week here at Aetherhold, and haven’t heard a word from you yet.
Please get word to me, even if it’s just a short note scribbled in your terrible penmanship.
Things are… hard here. While I have met some lovely people, and some I would like to dump bowls of custard over, I go to sleep every night thinking of everyone in Larilea.
I miss you all. I miss the sound of you and Kahlia laughing next door, I miss dinners sitting in your living room, bowls of hot soup in our laps as we play charades, I miss talking to you about all the things that are happening here. I miss you knowing that you would tell me that I can do this.
I still have your jacket, I’m keeping it safe. I know how much it meansto you.
I have to go now, I have so much to tell you. I hope I’ll get a chance to soon.
Kisses and hugs to Kahlia,
E
“I think I saw something,”Master Gavrik mutters. He and I are staring at the bowl of water like it holds the secrets to the universe. He leans in closer, squinting as if that’s going to help. “Did you see that little ripple?”
No, that was just from your heavy mouth breathing,I think, but I don’t say it out loud. Instead, I force a hopeful look onto my face, pretending like I might actually believe him. The water sits there, completely undisturbed, mocking me.
It’s the third day of this torture with Master Gavrik, and I’m no closer to mastering my so-called Strength than I was when I first set foot on these grounds. I watch Doran out of the corner of my eye. He’s moving through his exercises with an expertise that would make anyone envious. Well, anyone but Selene. But what Doran lacks in brute strength compared to our fellow competitor, he makes up for in heart. It’s funny how after just three days of training with him and watching Selene, I can sense their personalities in the manifestations of their magic, like a signature. It makes me ache to get to discover what mine would look like, feel like.
And I can’t help but think about Rylan, about how different things were training with him. He always made me feel like I was on the verge of something great, even when I wasn’t. He never had any doubt that the ridiculous tasks he assigned me were actually able to be performed. I had hoped that by the time he returned, I would have mastered my power. I wanted tosurprise him, to prove that I didn’t need him to succeed. Instead, all I have to show for my efforts is this stupid, unmoving bowl of water.
Master Gavrik finally steps back, sighing in that exasperated way he does when he thinks I’m not trying hard enough. “Focus, Eirabella. You’re letting your mind wander.”
If only he knew where my mind was wandering. Back to Rylan, of course. What is he doing right now? When’s he coming back? Why do I keep thinking about him? It’s infuriating. I’m supposed to be focusing on getting out of this castle, not on some stupid, grumpy prince who’s too busy with his royal duties to even be here.
I grit my teeth, trying once again to make a ripple, a splash, anything. The water stays placid.Dead.I punch my hand into the bowl, and water splashes onto my face. I must’ve punched harder than I’d thought because I feel cold water on the back of my neck as well. That is, until I hear a cackle. I jerk around to see Selene hovering near me, a smarmy smirk on her face, a finger twirling in the air, controlling the little raincloud she’s conjured directly over my head.
“Bitch!” I murmur under my breath, glaring at her. She cackles, clearly enjoying my misery, until I give her my most withering stare. With a flick of her hand, the cloud disappears with a puff, and the ground under me instantly dries. But me? Me she leaves dripping, soaking wet.
“You looked like you needed a shower,” she says with a smirk before flying off.
I turn back to the bowl, but my concentration is shot. I’m about to toss the whole thing across the training ground when Doran walks over.
“Hey, let’s take a break,” he suggests, his voice calm and sweet.
I slump down onto a bench, running a hand through mywet hair. “I don’t get it. Why is this so hard? You’re so good already, and still getting better and better every day, and I can’t even make a stupid ripple.”
Doran gives me a sympathetic smile. “It’ll come, Eira. I had trouble when I first started, too.”
I give him a sceptical look. “What happened? How did you get past it?”
He shrugs, leaning back against the wall. “It just… happens. One day, it all clicks. But it’s not easy. When I came here as a junior disciple, I’d been using my magic for years. And yet, for a whole month, Master Gavrik still made me take a long soak in the tub, to ‘commune’ with the water.”
“I’m not doing that.” I sigh. “But I do need my magic to come back soon,” I mutter. “Before I drown in a Selene storm.”
Doran chuckles softly. “Maybe you just need a change of scenery. It’s easy to feel trapped here, especially when you’re struggling.”
