“If that’s a promise, you’ve already broken it.”
That’s what she wants to say when I tell her I won’t hurt her? Really?
If only she knew how many times I’ve wanted to wrap my hands around her sweet neck and strangle her and haven’t.
Admittedly, that might not instil the sense of trust that’s currently lacking.
And even more so, the times I’ve wanted to wrap my hands around her neck and pull her in against me and…
Stop, Rylan.
Telling herthatprobably wouldn’t help either.
The hall is buzzing with the usual evening activity—servants bustling about, nobles chatting in hushed tones—but it all fades into the background as I focus on heading to my seat. I need a moment to breathe, to collect myself before I have to face anyone else.
When I finally sit down in the first chair to the right of the head of the long, polished table, I’m relieved to find that my father isn’t here yet. At least I can avoid his infuriating presence for a little longer. But my mother is already seated at the end of the table next to the king’s empty place setting, sipping her tea in her calm, gentle way. As always, she’s presiding over the banquet room with her warm and kind, encompassing presence. With a soft smile, she glances up as I approach.
“Good evening, my darling,” she says, her voice soothing. “You seem troubled. Did your father say something to upset you?”
I force a smile, not wanting to burden her with the details of the latest argument. She’s been through enough without me adding to her worries. “Just the usual,” I reply, trying to keep my tone light. “You know how he is.”
Her smile falters slightly, and she reaches out to lightly touch my hand. “Yes. He can be… difficult with you. But you mustn’t let him get to you. He’ll be better once your sisters are home. You know how he worries about all his children. Including you.”
Do I? That fact somehow must’ve slipped my mind. But I nod, giving her a small smile, grateful for her concern but knowing there’s little she can do to change the situation. “I’ll be fine, Mother,” I assure her, though the words feel hollow. “But enough about him, how are you feeling today? Is there anything I can do for you?”
Her smile returns, if a little weak. “I’m feeling much better, thanks to the remedies you brought back for me.”
I look at her, taking in the slight pallor of her skin, the way her hands tremble ever so slightly as she sets down her teacup. She’s putting on a brave face, as always, but I can see through it. She’s not well, no matter how much she tries to hide it.
“I’ll speak to the healer again,” I say softly, my voice laced with determination. “There has to be something more we can do.”
She nods, though I can tell she no longer has faith in the healer’s abilities. “You’ve always cared too much for me, Rylan. Promise me you won’t let this distract you from your duties. You have enough to worry about. I will be just fine.”
Her words only remind me of the conflict I’m facing—how in the realms am I supposed to balance my duties as Crown Prince, Celestaris, as well as train Eirabella on top of it all? It’san impossible task, and yet my father expects me to do it all without question, without complaint. The thought sends another surge of frustration through me, and I clench my fists under the table, trying to keep my emotions in check.
Just as I’m about to respond, the doors to the dining hall swing open, and Caelum strides in, as usual, an easygoing air on full display. I wonder if he has ever had a single care in his whole damn privileged life. He spots us immediately, a grin spreading across his face as he makes his way over to the table.
“Good evening. My queen. My prince,” he greets us each in turn with a ridiculously dramatic bow, his tone light and teasing. “Why, aren’t you both a sight for my admittedly gloriously beautiful eyes?”
My mother laughs softly, clearly charmed by his presence. “Caelum, you always know how to lighten the mood. Come, tell me of what trouble you have caused today.”
Caelum leans down to kiss her cheek before taking the seat across from me. “My pleasure, Aunt, but I dare say, Uncle will have me flayed because my stories are utterly scandalous,” he says with a wink. Then, turning his attention to me, he raises an eyebrow. “You look even more miserable than usual, cousin. Rough training day? Should I cheer you up by telling you about a particularly lovely woman I met today in the combat room?”
I just snarl at him, my whole body tensing, remembering the way he’d practically been dry-humping my disciple on the mat when I’d walked in on them. Worse. She had beenlaughingwith him, as if she was enjoying his company. All while she had meant to be training with me. In all the years my cousin and I have spent training together, sparring, fencing, downright bare-knuckling brawling, I’ve never wanted to thrust my sword right through his fucking chest more than in that moment.
Caelum chuckles, knowing exactly what I’m thinking. Wegrew up together; he knows my expressions as well as anyone. “You know, it wouldn’t hurt you to relax every once in a while. Maybe go easy on the whole ‘brooding prince’ routine. Might go down better with the ladies… or, you know, disciples.” Then his eyebrow cocks. “And, of course, tree stumps.”
The gods couldn’t hold back the rumble that emanates from my chest. “What are you talking about?”
“The tree stump comment? Oh, I forgot, that is just a secret joke between Eirabella and me,” he says with a smirk.
I’m not sure what bothers me more, her name coming out of his mouth, or that he has a shared secret joke with her. Either way, I’m about two seconds from throwing my knife at his throat when a group of my mother’s ladies-in-waiting enter the room, their chatter filling the air as they take their seats across the table at my mother’s side. Among them is Julietta, her eyes immediately locking onto mine as she sits down. She offers a coy smile, clearly expecting me to engage with her, but I’m in no mood for her games.
Instead, I turn my attention back to my mother, who is watching the various interactions around her with a knowing look in her eyes. “Rylan,” she says softly, “how is your new charge today? Eirabella, isn’t it? What a lovely name for a lovely woman. How is she faring?”
The question catches me off guard, and I stiffen slightly. “She’s… managing,” I say carefully, not wanting to admit how poorly our training sessions have gone. “It’s only been a few days. She still has a long way to go.”
“She’s from a quaint little peasant village, isn’t she?” Julietta’s voice cuts through the conversation, her tone dripping with disdain. “What a change all this must be for her. I imagine it must be quite difficult for her, fitting in here considering her… background.”
