I keep hitting him, harder, punch after punch, until my fists are just pounding feebly against his chest, my breaths coming in ragged gasps. “Damn you,” I whisper, the words falling out in a broken sob. “Damn you.”
Finally, my fists fall to my sides, and I look up at him, my vision blurred with tears. His gaze is sad and tender, and he reaches down, brushing a tear from my cheek. His palm cups my chin, impossibly gentle against my skin.
“Keep going. I know there’s more in you. I can take it. I can take everything you have to give me,mea valora,” he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper. Tapping his chest, he adds, “Aim all your pain here, Eirabella. I’ll take every last scream, every last tear you need to shed. Break, if you must, fuckingshatter.But just know that I will always be the ground under your feet, cradling all your splintered, jagged pieces, keeping them safe. And, when you’re ready, I’ll stitch them back together, one by one.” He drops a single kiss to the top of my head. “Like you stitched me once.”
I don’t answer, can’t find words. My anger is spent, leaving nothing but emptiness and a hollow ache that feels like it’s tearing me apart.
Collapsing against him, I let out a ragged breath. “I’m done.”
“You’re not,” he says, looking down at me.
I reach up for him, wrapping my arms around his neck and stare into those impossibly dark eyes. The amber in his iris burns like molten embers and before I know it, our lips crash together, desperate and raw. I press closer to him, clinging to him as if he’s the only thing keeping me from falling apart completely. All the anger and grief in my chest shifts intosomething equally intense. Pure need for him. His hands grip my waist, pulling me closer, his mouth rough against mine.
“Rylan…” I moan against his mouth, and his hands scratch up my back and tangle in my hair.
A raw, desperate urge flares inside me.
I don’t know how to handle this pain, this hollow ache that Doran’s death has left me with. But here, right now, there’s only one thing that is bringing me any comfort. I need to feel alive, need to be reminded that there’s still something here in this world, something to hold onto.
“Eirabella. Stop,” Rylan exhales, pulling his mouth away from mine. I blink, my hands clutching at his chest, as he stares down at me, panting. “You… don’t want this. Not right now.”
“But I do, Rylan. Please.”
He squeezes his eyes shut, and leans back against the wall, pulling me with him. “You’re… sad, grieving. Maybe it’s not the best time… for us to...”
I swallow and pull out of his arms wrapping my arms around my torso, a chill trickling through me at the loss of his body’s warmth. “Of course. Um… I’m… I’m sorry…” Embarrassment surges through me, blazing hot up my neck and I turn to run.
“Shit. Eirabella!”
His voice fuels my legs to pump faster.
I don’t know where I’m going; somewhere I can escape my own head, my own heart.
“Eirabella. Stop!” he shouts and it echoes as loudly as if his voice is inside my head. The pleading in his voice takes over command of my body and I stop. He catches up with me, and pulls me against his chest, his arms around my stomach as he buries his face into my hair. “Gods, you need to stop doing that. You need to stop running away from me. I can’t fucking breathe when you do that.”
A new deluge of tears streams down my face as I turn to face him. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m such a fucking mess right now!” A sob wracks through me as my head falls back against his chest. “And I…just don’t want you to see me this way.”
“But it’s perfectly normal. You lost a friend. You wouldn’t be you if this weren’t breaking you apart.”
His face is blurry when I look up at him. “But my pain shouldn’t be your burden.”
He crooks his finger and tucks it under my chin, tilting my face up to his and his voice breaks as he whispers, “Listen to me. Are you listening? Of all the burdens in all the realms, the heaviest is the one I cannot lift from your shoulders. So, please don’t push me away. I could endure any pain in this life but the agony of you keeping your sorrow from me. ”
He leans down and presses the softest kiss to my lips. And then I’m kissing him back, pouring all of my emotions into it.
“Make me forget,” I whisper against his lips, my voice breaking. “Please, Rylan. Make me feel something other than this.”
He sighs, tracing the line of my jaw with the back of his hand. “If it’s what you want, really want, you don’t need to ask me twice.”
He lowers his head, giving me the chance to pull away.
When I don’t, his eyes darken, and he runs a hand through my hair, guiding my face back to his, angling it for a deep, savage kiss. I clutch at his back, pulling him closer, desperate for him, for the feeling of life that surges through me when I’m with him.
Turning me around, he pins me against the cold stone wall, his mouth exploring mine like it’s something brand new, as if I haven’t kissed him a hundred times in the recent weeks. His body presses firmly against mine, his hands on my waist, my hips, his touch setting every nerve alight. I can feel his heartbeat pounding as fast as my own. Every inch of me aches for him, for this—the only thing that feelsreal right now
Our breaths come in quick, heated bursts as his hands roam my back, and I arch toward him, needing more, wanting him to erase every dark thought, every hollow ache. He whispers my name, rough and breathless, and the sound of it sends a shiver down my spine.
“Eira,” he murmurs, his voice thick with emotion. “You’re everything to me, do you know that?”
