Page 29 of Unruly
“You’ll be there to keep me safe.” Kris’s grin was infectious, and he was practically bouncing in his seat with excitement.
“Or to give you a thorough thrashing if you do something stupid.” She fiddled with the small green pouch she had retrieved, hoping it hid the tension and nervousness flooding through her.
“Sounds like fun, I’ll make sure the trailer is soundproofed.” He canted his head, noticing that she was holding something. “What’s that?”
“Your other gift.” She tossed him the bag lightly, watching as he caught it cleanly and pulled open the tie on the top. He turned the bag over, and she felt her breath catch as a single silver dog tag dropped out into his palm.
He looked at it curiously, examining it in the light of the fireplace. Unlike the tags they both wore, it was thicker than normal, somewhat scratched and worn with a chip out of one corner. Stamped across the front was S. A. BLACK and the cluster of numbers that had been her identifier since the day she joined the Special Forces academy. In small font underneath that was O POS, listing her blood type in case of emergency.
Cath scooted forward before he could speak, wrapping his hand around the tag and enclosing it in his fist. “In the Special Forces, we have a very old custom. When you’re with someone very special, you give them one of your retired dog tags. To wear them means you belong to someone, that someone loves you. I was wearing this one the day we met at the first tournament.”
“Oh Cath,” Kris opened his hand and examined the tag again, his emotions plain as day on his face. She could see a slight tremble in his fingers, a twin to her own hands, as the significance of the gesture took hold. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I love you, Kris.” After weeks of struggling to find the right time, and the right way to say it without feeling like she was making herself vulnerable, the words slipped out with ease. Even now, however, there was a steel band of anxiety in her stomach, an irrational fear that he would think she was less for finally speaking the truth to him out loud. “And this was the best way I could think of to show it to you.”
Amidst her anxiety she kept talking, the words running together in a jumbled rush. “It’s not easy for me, I don't say the words enough even though I feel them and sometimes I don’t think that’s... fair to you. I wanted to give you something that you could look at, something that showed you how much I love you, so that even if it seems like the words don’t come out often enough, they are there in a way you can see and touch them...”
She sat back as her words trailed off. Her eyes welled up as she looked away, struggling to contain her emotions. She felt exposed and hated herself for breaking her ironclad hard demeanor, especially in front of him.
For his part, Kris sat back, letting her talk, running his fingers over the dog tag again and again as she spoke in a contemplative fashion. Now, he moved across the couch, scooping her up in his arms and holding her tightly against his chest as he kissed her hair.
She leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, breathing in the spicy scent of his aftershave as she buried her face in the crook of his neck. Eventually Kris pulled back, pressing his lips to hers tenderly. He leaned his forehead against hers, clearing his throat as he tried to contain his own emotions. "Say it again.”
“I love you.” She took his chin in her fingers, tracing her fingers along his jaw as he turned his face into her palm. “I feel like a wreck and it’s all your damn fault, I wasn’t looking to fall in love with anyone, and then you smiled at me on our first date, and I knew I was completely screwed. Half the time now I walk around not knowing what I am doing, and I never seem to know how to say the right thing when it comes to saying how I feel about us. It’s really disarming to be honest.”
“I love you too.” Kris leaned against the couch, removing his own tags and slipping Cath’s on to the chain with them securely. He resettled the chain around his neck and briefly brought the tag to his lip to press a kiss to the metal before letting it fall against his chest again. “I’ve loved you for a long time Cath, and I don’t care you hardly ever say it out loud, because I know you love me. You may not be vocal, but you love people fiercely with actions and behind the soldier is a person who cares deeply about protecting the people she loves. I get to see that person more than anyone else and that’s just as good as hearing the words to me.”
Cath let out the breath she had been holding, and sagged against the couch, feeling more relieved than she had ever thought possible. She reached out and touched his chest, thumbing the dog tags that rested there like a lodestone. “I was worried that the tag would look bulky. I had to have an extra plate put on the back to show it’s decommissioned but it looks good on you.”
“Yeah, maybe you’ll change me into a responsible military boy after all huh?” Kris pulled a face, trying to look serious and stern as he impersonated his own version of a general.
Cath shook her head and snorted at the absurdity of the idea. “As if that would ever happen. Besides, I don’t want you to change, I love you for who you are, the way you are.”
“I’ll remind you of that the next time the paparazzi take candid photos of us.” He laughed, watching as she balled up a fist and made a motion like she was double tapping someone in the gut. “That’s my girl.”
“Damn right I am.” She straddled him, pressing her lips to his. “And don’t you ever forget it.”
“Perhaps you should make sure I don’t.” He quirked a half smile and embraced her, burying his face in her chest as she straightened up and rubbed herself against him languidly.
She reached between them and held up the dog tag on the edge of her fingers. “I already did.”
“Maybe I should offer to wear it and nothing else for you?” He feathered kisses over her breasts, leaning her back slightly on his arm so he could continue a trail over her collarbone and shoulder.
“Tempting offer, I may take you up on it.” She ran her fingers through his hair, tipping his head back and pulling his lower lip between her teeth. She shifted her position, rolling her hips against his as he smiled against her lips. He tightened his arms around her as if he was going to move suddenly, and then stopped giving her a considering look.
Leaning back on her haunches she studied his face, grasping his chin in her fingers and tracing the outline of his lips with the edge of her thumb. “What are you thinking?”
He leaned up and rubbed his nose against hers lazily. “Honestly? Something terribly cliché.”
“Indulge me.”
“I was thinking how much I'd like to strip you naked and lay you down on that bear skin rug in front of the fire.” He began toying with the buttons on the front of her blouse, popping them unhurriedly, pushing the fabric aside and kissing the exposed skin he was revealing.
“Thatishorribly cliché.” Cath agreed with a solemn nod as he did the last button. With a roll of her shoulders, she eased it off and tossed it down the couch. Returning her attention to Kris, she wound her arms securely around him so he could lift her then leaned in and peppered a trail of kisses up his neck until she reached his ear.
“But what the hell, it is Christmas after all.”
