“Oh, my God. I’m going to be sick,” Ebbie moaned. “I can’t hunt. I never even played violent video games because I hate the sight of blood.”
“Never fear, love. I will hunt for you. Always. And for the baby. Plus, we have farms that grow vegetable matter for us, and fisheries. You will be fine. The food on Jizm is quite tasty. I think you will like it.”
“What about doctors? I’m not a Jizmite. Will doctors know how to treat me when I give birth, or if I get sick?”
“Aside from our tentacles, we are quite similar on the inside. At least, that’s what we’ve always been taught in Extraterrestrial Anatomy at University,” Gorg explained. “I shall deliver our child. It is tradition. A doctor will be nearby in case of complications, of which, I am confident, there will be none. Also, my mother will be there, and she delivered all of her own plus several dozen of our friends’ and relatives’ babies.”
“But no human hybrids?”
“No, this will be our planet’s first human hybrid baby. Isn’t that exciting?” Hivery asked. “My own wife, Listeria, has had two successful births on Jizm. She has live births, too, as you will have, so you see? Everything will be fine.”
“Except she is ashe,but I’m ahe, and on Earth, boys don’t have babies!” Even Ebbie could hear the note of panic creeping into his voice.
“Ebbie, we spoke about this, remember? Your body will change to accommodate your birth needs.”
“I remember. I’ll grow a fucking pocket.”
“More like a pouch, but that’s the gist of it,” Hivery said. “It’ll go away after the birth. Listeria might be a girl, but on her planet, they cough up their babies like hairballs. It’s most unattractive. She had pouch-births as well.”
“Isn’t nature amazing?” Gorg asked. “Our knotting ensures pregnancy, and our semen contains the building blocks necessary to ensure a healthy, safe delivery.”
“It’s a miracle,” Ebbie said, not thoroughly convinced but feeling a bit better knowing that he, at least, would not need to upchuck their child into the world.
A short while later, after another half dozen questions were asked and answered and a rather tedious and longwinded if sprightly debate between Hivery and Gorg about the best way to change the oxygenator spring on a ‘356997 Venusian spacecraft ran its course, Ebbie felt a strange sensation. It was as though he weighed nothing, was as light as air, and his body pulled up at the restraints keeping him tethered to the seat.
“This is it! We’ve reached microgravity.” Gorg announced. He unlocked his safety harness and floated toward the ceiling. “Now, wait for me, Ebbie. The first time in microgravity can be disconcerting. I don’t want you to bump your head.”
He helped Ebbie out of his harness, and to Ebbie’s shock, they both floated toward the craft’s ceiling. Ebbie put up one hand — it felt as if he were moving in slow motion — to brace against the ceiling.
“You’ll get the hang of it very quickly. Just don’t make any powerful moves. For example, don’t push off from the wall because you’ll slingshot across the vehicle,” Gorg said. He kept a firm hand on Ebbie’s arm as Ebbie floated around the cabin.
“This is amazing!” Ebbie laughed with the joyous abandon of a child and did a slow somersault in the air. His delight seemed to infect the others because they laughed, too.
“It’s never quite as magical as it is the first time, huh, Hivery?” Gorg asked.
“No. After a while, it’s just the same old anti-gravity feeling.” Hivery laughed again. “But your mate really seems to be enjoying himself!”
“Come, love. Let’s sit awhile. You’ll have three days to enjoy floating around the cabin. Right now, come say goodbye to Earth.”
That took the air right out of Ebbie’s balloon. He felt deflated as he allowed Gorg to float him to the cockpit. “Can we never come back again? I didn’t know that I’d never be able to go back! Not even for a visit?” He began to feel anxiety creep in again.
“Of course we can! I just need to get a new ship, but you certainly don’t want to return until after the baby is born! We just left it!” Gorg sounded upset and confused.
“Oh, I thought you meant I’d never see Earth again, and there things about it I want our child to experience. Like Disneyland, and sledding, and…and…”
“And the holidays?”
“You are fixated on the holidays! Holidays are for suckers. They’re just a plot to get people to spend more money than they should.” Ebbie huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Eep. Touched a sore spot with your mate, huh?” Hivery asked. He turned to Ebbie. “He’s always been like this, even on Bloober Day. Always wanting more than a good fart.”
“Earth celebrates lots and lots of holidays, Hivery, not just one.”
“One is one too many,” Ebbie grumbled under his breath.
“Do I need to take out the time shift processor again?” Gorg asked Ebbie.
Ebbie’s eyes grew wide. “No. I learned my lesson. I swear. It’s just going to take me a while to adjust, that’s all. I mean, falling for an alien, getting pregnant, leaving my planet…it’s all a bit much. Throw in the true meaning of the holidays and I’m on overload.”
