“Then, we’ll take it step by step, day by day, okay?”
“Yes. Can we get a Christmas tree?”
Ebenezer blinked. “What?” Where did that come from?”
“On our planet it is traditional for the Papa — that’s me — to make trinkets for the baby during the pregnancy, and for the PawPaw — that’s you — to hang them somewhere in the house. I thought that it would be nice for us to hang them on a tree.”
“Even knowing how I feel about the holidays?”
“I’m not asking you to dress up in that red suit and shout ‘ho, ho, hoes’ like you did in your movies,” Gorg said. “I just want a tree.”
“Wait a minute. How did you know I shouted ‘ho, ho, hoes,’ in my movies? It’s my trademark line!”
“Because you shout it in every movie. I watched some of your movie discs on the player in the living room. You would strip out of the red suit and yell ‘ho, ho, hoes,’ and then you’d—”
“I get it!” Ebenezer was flabbergasted. “And how did you learn to use a DVD player?”
“Seriously? Ebbie, I can operate a spaceship that flew across the universe from a different galaxy. I think I can manage a few Earth electronics.” Gorg lifted his nose up in the air and sniffed.
Ebenezer grinned despite the situation he’d found himself in. “I guess that makes sense. So…what did you think? Pretty hot, huh?”
“I do not like watching you have sex with another man,” Gorg said. “The only one I want you to have sex with is me.” He took a step toward Ebenezer.
“Um, Gorg, as much fun as last night was, I think I need some time to process everything before we give it a go again, okay?”
Gorg slumped but nodded. “Agreed.”
“So, what should I expect next? Providing any of this is true, of course. I suppose I’ll have cravings. Like the blueberry pancakes this morning. Maybe some egg salad and peanut butter. What’s next?”
Gorg wrinkled his nose. “Ew. Well, you might experience—”
Ebenezer suddenly felt his stomach turn. He jumped up and made a mad dash for the bathroom.
Gorg followed him and stood in the doorway watching as Ebenezer upchucked last week’s dinner. “They say you might feel a little nauseated.”
Ebbie threw him a hateful glare in between bouts of vomiting. “I think I hate you.”
“No, you don’t. That’s the hormones talking,” Gorg said in a rather chipper voice. “You’ll feel better soon. The Sickness usually only lasts for the first tri-season.”
He ducked just in time to miss being bonked on the head by a toilet brush.
“They say you may get easily irritated, too,” Gorg said, trying to be helpful.
This time he didn’t duck fast enough and got hit in the head with a bar of soap.
Chapter 9
The next morning, Gorg and Ebenezer went to a Christmas tree lot and bought a tree. Gorg couldn’t stand the idea of a dead tree bearing his gifts for his upcoming child, so they went to a lot that sold live trees that could be transplanted after the holidays. The young man who worked there used a length of rope to secure the tree to the top of the Jeep.
When they got home, Gorg insisted on carrying it into the house by himself. “No, you are not carrying this! It’s too heavy. You need to take it easy, Ebbie.”
Gorg decided the tree should go up in the living room corner between the fireplace and the picture window. He set it up, stood back, and reached for Ebenezer’s hand, smiling. “It’s perfect,” Gorg said. “Or it will be once we add a few things.”
Ebenezer turned to stare at him. “Add a fewwhat?”
“I want our child to have the most beautiful birth tree on the planet. I want lights and garland and tinsel, like you had on your tree when you were little.”
“This was supposed to be a birth tree, not a Christmas tree!” Ebenezer argued. “You know how I feel about the holidays!”
