Page 91 of Crying in the Rain
“Yes, please.”
“OK, well, I’ll tell you again when you’re paying attention, but…after what you said about me auditioning for TV stuff, I asked my agent to keep me in mind if anything came up. She phoned yesterday to say that they’re auditioning for a new crime series. The main character needs to be fluent in English and Swedish and good at regional accents.”
“Oh, wow! That was written for you. Are you going for it?”
“I think I might.”
“That’s great, babe.” Ade gave Kris a congratulatory kiss and tried to be enthusiastic, but it was tough. His smile faded. “I’m going to have to move,” he said, finally resigned to the truth. The apartment had been his home before Fergus bullied his way into his life, but for as long as he knew where Ade lived, Fergus would never leave him alone.
“What will you do?” Kris asked. “Buy another place around here?”
Ade hadn’t thought any further ahead, but his mind was spinning now. If he moved somewhere else, Fergus would come after him at work instead, and much as he loved his job, he’d already wasted too many years living in constant fear and wondering when the next attack would happen. He wasn’t about to waste any more.
“I’m going to resign from the studio, go and stay with Jules for a bit until I get something sorted.”
“OK. I can see the logic in that,” Kris said diplomatically, because it sounded spur-of-the-moment, but it wasn’t.
“Of course,” Ade said, “that does depend on you to a certain extent.”
“Me? Why?”
“Well, it’s too far from Julia’s place to yours to just meet up for a drink and go back again, even once I’ve bought another car.” Ade paused, unsure if he could make the request. His common sense was telling him five weeks wasn’t long enough to concludehe wanted to spend the rest of his life with Kris, but that was how he felt.
“If you want to look for somewhere together, I’m OK—” Kris started to say, but Ade cut him off.
“No. Or at least, maybe, one day. I’ve seen how happy you and Shaunna are sharing your house, and I’d rather take it slowly, which isn’t to say I don’t think we’ll stay the distance. I want to be with you, Kris.”
Kris took Ade’s hand, kissing it over and over, doing a sterling job of ignoring the red ring and blossoming bruises around Ade’s wrist.
“So, what I was going to suggest,” Ade continued, “is—”
Kris pressed his finger lightly to Ade’s lips. “Can I just tell you this first?” Ade nodded mutely. “I love you, Ade Simmons.” Kris removed his finger, but Ade was speechless. “Carry on,” Kris prompted.
For several minutes, Ade remained still and quiet. He’d lost track of what he’d been saying, which all seemed so inconsequential now, although he did have big plans. For a while, he’d been considering setting up in business as a touring production company for gay performers. The only stumbling block had been the set-up costs, and if he sold the apartment, he could use the proceeds to get the business up and running. If it failed, he’d be homeless, but if Julia and Kris would support him, he stood a reasonable chance of succeeding. Kris’s love declaration simultaneously guaranteed his support and complicated matters, unless Ade felt the same way.
Unless Ade owned up to feeling the same way.
Get some balls, Simmons!
“Ade?”
“Yes, babe?”
“What were you going to tell me?”
“Apart from ‘I love you too’?”
“I didn’t say it with any expectation for you to say it back. You’ve been through a lot lately.”
“And you’ve been through it with me. You’ve scooped me up from the floor—literally—and you’ve been shoved in front of oncoming traffic—again, literally. When I was walking home last night, I remembered what I’d said to you about still loving Fergus, but it’s not love, it’s obligation.” Ade took both of Kris’s hands and looked him in the eye. “I don’t ever want you to feel that kind of obligation to me.”
“That won’t happen.”
“What I mean is, don’t give up your life for me like I did for Fergus. I want to start my own business, and I’ll be relying on you because it’s the only way I can do it, but if we don’t work out, then—”
“I want you,” Kris said, no disguising his desire.
“What, now?”
