Page 70 of Crying in the Rain
“Are you praying?” Shaunna asked.
“No, but I’d give it a shot if it meant not feeling like this.”
“Like what?”
“I’m not sure.”
Shaunna narrowed her eyes at him. “Why?” she asked.
“Why what?”
“Well, even for you, it’s a bit soon to be worrying about how you’d cope with the break-up.”
There was mischief in her gaze, but she’d hit the nail on the head. “You know me too well.”
“It’s been a long time, hun.”
Kris picked up his tea, watching the surface of the liquid shimmer under the lights. “Ade needs someone emotionally stable, with no baggage. Not me.”
“No?”
“You think I’m wrong?”
“I think Ade knows his own mind.”
Kris opened his mouth to contradict her but stopped and instead considered her words. She was right, but she wasn’t just talking about Ade. She was talking about herself and their marriage. Kris had worked hard and saved up to buy them a family home so that she could concentrate on being a mum, but he’d never asked her if that was what she’d wanted or expected. After they separated, she said she understood he had done it with the right intentions, but they should’ve discussed it first, communicated what they both wanted from the relationship. If they had…well, who was to say whether it would have saved their marriage, but learning to communicate had at least saved their friendship. In fact, it was stronger than ever.
Kris didn’t want to lose that. He loved living there, and he loved Shaunna, which was a significant part of why he was struggling so much with falling for Ade. The two of them—Shaunna and Ade—had got along brilliantly, but it was…unconventional. He couldn’t see how it was sustainable in the long run. Added to that, what Kris had been through with his uncle meant he felt Ade’s pain so strongly it could have been his own. He hadn’t been close to his abuser, had trusted and respected him purely because he was an elder, but to suffer at the hands of someone you’d fallen in love with… Thinking about it was unbearable.
Kris had heeded Ade’s warning. Hewouldmiss Fergus, and that was fine. But what if Fergus asked him for another chance? Would he go back again? There were so many unknowns beyond Kris’s control, and his instincts were pulling in two directions: back away while he still could or hang on tight and ride out the storm.
Shaunna reached across the table and took his hands in hers. “Carpe diem.”
Kris couldn’t help smiling at her movie-night reference.Dead Poets Societywas one of their all-time favourite films. If she was preparing to mop the kitchen floor?Carpe diem.If she was about the head out to work in the rain? Up went the umbrella andcarpe diem. He glanced up from his tea, to find her smiling right back at him.
“Take the chance,” she said. “That’s all.”
“I feel like I’m going crazy.”
“You’ve always been crazy. This is just the first chance you’ve ever had to really express yourself.”
“I don’t want to drive off the cliff, Louise. What if—”
“What-if, nothing, Thelma. Do or do not. There is no try.”
At that, Kris rolled his eyes. “If I agree, will it stop you quoting Hollywood wisdom at me?”
She grinned and raised her eyebrows. “Perhaps this is the mysterious Mr. Right you have been waiting your whole life to meet.”
Kris laughed. “Riffing still counts.”
Shaunna got up and made her way to his side of the table, putting her arms around him in a motherly hug. He snuggled against her, and she planted a kiss on the top of his head. “Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable. But I still think you should have one.”
***
Ade
As the trainpulled into the station, Ade’s stomach lurched in anticipation, and in his eagerness to open the door, he pushed at the button before it illuminated to indicate it was no longer locked. Not once had it occurred to him that Kris would stand him up, and rightly so, because he could see him on the other side of the barrier, peering over the heads of others, scouring the passengers moving along the platform. They made eye contact, and Ade waved, quickening his pace, his heart fluttering with excitement. And it was excitement, rather than dread. He made it through the ticket barrier, and they embraced. Kris kissed his cheek, sending a little spark chasing through him.
