Page 22 of Mountain Refuge
Adam let out a long sigh as he collapsed on the other side of the couch. His head was resting against the back and his eyes were closed. I had the strangest urge to run my fingers through his beard. Was it coarse or fine…? My fingers tingled with the need to find out.
I clenched my hands into fists. Shit, what was wrong with me? All day it had felt like we were dancing around each other. Our eyes would meet, hold, and then one of us would move. Circling, always circling. He would reach over my head to graba glass from the cabinet. I would reach over his shoulder to adjust the settings on the radio. Never touching, but always near. It was like static along my skin, and I was just waiting for the inevitable shock.
Which was so stupid. Corbin would be here tomorrow with supplies. We would make a plan then as to when it was safest for Adam to bring the kids out of the cabin. He was leaving. Doubtful tomorrow, but maybe the day after or the day after that. What if this was all we had? One, maybe two nights, together?
Shit, fuck. I needed to switch my thoughts to a safe mood-killing topic. The only one I could think of on short notice was the children. “So I had an interesting chat with Lydia this afternoon while you were getting Henry’s bottle ready.”
He peaked one eye open, smirked, and then closed it again. “Did she ask you if you’d be her friend?”
“Actually, she asked if I would be yours.”
His eyes flew open and he sat up in a quick motion. His dark eyes burned bright as they bore into mine. Okay, so maybe this topic hadn’t been as mood-killer as I’d intended. “Why would she say that?”
I swallowed hard. “Apparently, you could use someone to play with.”
He didn’t say anything at first. It was almost like he was trying to read any alternate meanings in my words. While I hadn’t intended there to be, as I was just repeating Lydia’s words, we both knew otherwise.
The air between us became very heavy. I felt like my heart was beating a million miles per hour. It had been almost ten years since I’d been intimate with a man. I was no stranger to pleasure, but it was all self-administered. Yet, temptation sat across from me on my couch.
I’d never had a one-night stand in my life. I’d only ever beenwith one man. He’d been the love of my life and I’d had no interest in pursuing other relationships after I lost him. I had never imagined, especially with my living conditions, that there would ever be another man.
And yet…here one sat.
I knew deep down that it was more than just the opportunity. There had been other chances for me to have engaged in a no-strings-attached arrangement. No one had affected me like Adam was now.
It was theman, not the opportunity. I’d never before thought fatherhood to be a turn on, but I’d been wrong. The way Adam was with his kids, how attentive and caring… It was like an aphrodisiac. Never thought watching a man change a diaper would get my motor running. Mind, thinking about it like that was a little weird. In the moment, though, it had been anything but.
When I finally found my voice, even I could hear the huskiness in it. “I know we said no details before but I have to know this. Just a yes or no: are you married?”
My heart nearly burst from my chest when he shook his head. “No. You?”
I shook my head. “No,” and did not elaborate.
His eyes never left mine. “I want to kiss you.”
“I want you to kiss me.” He inched his way forward, a smooth slide across the couch. My heart started beating faster. I stupidly opened my mouth. “But I’m not sure you should.”
He stopped. His leg was so close to touching mine. If we both leaned just a little towards the other, our lips would meet. God, I wanted to feel his beard tickling my skin.
“Why not?”
“I don’t do casual and I don’t do relationships.”
He didn’t look disappointed. More intrigued by my answer. “Not sure there’s anything in between that.”
I swallowed, kicking myself for having spoken at all. Iwantedhis kiss. “I know.”
He studied me for a long moment. “What do you want to do then?”
I had to close my eyes. I needed to break the intense connection we were starting to form. I couldn’t think with his deep gaze boring into mine like that. “I don’t know.”
“We’re strangers.” It seemed interesting that he would point out that obvious fact. I opened my eyes so I could read his expression. “But you don’t feel like a stranger.”
He didn’t either. Being with him felt like reuniting with an old friend I hadn’t seen in a very long time. “What if we play twenty questions?”
The fire popped behind me, but neither of us looked its way.
“No details?” I wasn’t sure if it was a question or a reminder.
