Page 53 of Leo and His Love Bunny
“I’m not sure. I guess... I guess I’m just hoping that this leads to more, and now that I don’t have those other things to worry about, my brain has latched on to that. I don’t want to worry at all. You know?”
“Because worry is a sin?”
“Yeah. Of course. I also don’t like the way I feel when I’m worried. But it seems to be a habit. My brain just needs something to worry about.”
“It would be nice to train it not to worry.”
“I know that’s possible, but it sounds easier than what it actually is. But yeah. I want to have faith. I just want to have complete and total peace in what God has planned for me. Of course, I want to work as hard as I can, but I also want to rest in the fact that I know God’s going to take care of me and as long as I try as hard as I can to do right, everything is going to be fine.”
Try as hard as I can to do right. She hits me where it hurts. And I feel guilty about not telling her who actually paid for the cupcakes.
But she’s also right about not being worried. Although, if I were doing everything the right way, then I shouldn’t be worried.
I don’t want to think about that, so I say, “This drive is one of my favorites. I love the views of the Blue Ridge Mountains.”
“I can’t imagine living anywhere else. These mountains feel like home to me.”
She loves them as much as I do, and it makes me smile.
“I heard that you took a pay cut in order to be able to stay here. Is that true?” She asks kind of tentatively like she’s not sure how I feel about talking about this kind of thing.
“You must’ve found that in some obscure place online. It was years ago, and yeah, I went to the team owner and told her that I don’t really care about my salary. I just wanted to stay with the team. That was probably a stupid thing to do, and my agent thought I was nuts, but it’s true.”
“I admire that. A lot.” Her words are soft, and she is looking at the mountains when she says it.
“You grew up here?”
“I sure did. My parents still live in the house I grew up in. I love that. That permanence. The roots that they’ve put down, and the way everyone in town knows us. I mean, it’s annoying at times.” We both laugh together.
“You’re not kidding.”
“No. But my brothers are around, although they all have families of their own and don’t live at home anymore, except one who helps on the farm.”
“How many brothers do you have?” If I knew she had brothers, I had forgotten. I’m sure I probably saw her family coming to church at one time or another when we had a combined service, but I hadn’t thought about her siblings.
“Three older brothers.”
“You’re the only girl?”
“I am. I suppose I do better with men than women because of that. Although my mom and I have a pretty good relationship. She just... I don’t know how to explain it. But I don’t want to let her down.”
“Interesting.” I don’t have parents to let down. Well, I don’t have a mom to let down, but I still know what she means. “Sometimes I think about my mom and what she would want for me. I think she’d probably be proud of me, but I know that she was more interested in the man I became than in how successful I was on the ice.”
“I’m sure she was. And I know she would be proud of you.”
Her words make my heart smile. I do want to be a good hockey player. And I do appreciate people complimenting my athletic ability, but if I had a choice, I’d want them to admire me for who I am, and not for any kind of accomplishments because of the talent that God gave me, or even because of the work that I had put into developing that talent.
I like that Nora sees more than a hockey player when she looks at me.
We talk a little more about growing up in a small town. I was about five years ahead of Nora, so we didn’t know each other in school although she admits to knowing of me, while I have to admit that I just know of her from church.
Mentioning church makes her stiffen, and I think about changing the subject. But then I say, “Nothing good on that front?”
“I ran into Mrs. Higginbotham at the gas station this morning. She was sitting in her car as her husband fueled up, and I went over to say hi. She talked to me, but it was frosty.”
“I guess some of the problem is the pastor. He should stand up to her.”
“But she does a lot of work in the church. You know how hard it is to find people who will actually help out in church? Otherwise, he and his wife would be doing it all themselves, and they’re very close to retirement age. In fact, I’ve heard rumors that he’s retiring at the end of the summer next year. I don’t know if it’s true, but I just feel bad for him, you know?”
