Page 15 of Tangled Up With You
I wanted that.
And there had only been one time in all my life where I actually felt like I might have found it. Which was why it hurt so damn bad when he ran out on me.
I caught Lennix watching me from the corner of my eye and quickly schooled my features into a false mask of serenity, but I had a feeling from the way she was examining me so closely I hadn’t been fast enough.
Noticing the champagne bottle was empty, I quickly snatched it up and gave it a quick shake. “Looks like we’ve kicked this one. I’m going to grab another bottle real quick. We still have a bit of time before this show gets started.”
“Thank you,” Rae said happily as I started for the door.
“Hold up.” Lennix’s voice pulled me up short. “I’ll go with you.”
Damn it.
I barely made it halfway down the hall before the click of Lennix’s heels caught up with me. “Okay, woman. Start talking.”
I made a face I hoped didn’t look as fake as it felt as I swung into the tiny kitchen at the back of the church. “What are you talking about?”
She narrowed her eyes like she could see right through me. “Don’t give me that. You know exactly what I’m talking about. You got all sad when they were talking about love and happily-ever-afters and stuff.” She pointed her finger at my face. “And don’t bother denying it, I saw it all over your face.”
I bent to yank open the door to the minifridge where I’d stashed a couple extra bottles of champagne earlier. I pulled out the bottle, letting the chill on the glass seep into my palms. “Look, it’s really not a big deal, okay? And I don’t want to get into it now. This day is all about Rae and Zach. I don’t want to take anything away from that.”
Her charcoal brows lifted high on her forehead. “You won’t take anything away from them by talking to me about what’s bugging you. You’ve been off since last night. You got all quiet during the rehearsal dinner, and that’s not like you. Is it about that Tanner guy you came with today?” Her spine shot straight. “Did he do something? I’ll kill him.”
“No, God. It’s nothing like that.” I leaned back against the edge of the counter, letting the stone keep me propped up as I heaved out a sigh and rubbed at the tension headache starting to build in the center of my chest. “I slept with Connor,” I blurted, deciding it was best to just get it out there. Like ripping off a Band-Aid.
Lennix’s jaw dropped wide open, her eyes bugging out so wide it was almost comical. “Last night?” she squeaked.
“No. Not last night. A few months ago, when he was here. Actually, it was the same night he left.”
Her eyes went from wide to narrow in confusion. “What do you mean, the same night he left?”
I threw my hands up at my sides and let them drop back down heavily, banging the champagne bottle against the side of my thigh. “I mean I slept with him, and when I woke up, he was gone.”
“You’rekidding.”
“I wish I was.”
“Oh my God,” she hissed, casting a quick glance at the opened doorway behind her to make sure no one was listening before she took three quick steps in my direction, lowering her voice to a whisper. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t tell anyone,” I admitted. “Having the last guy I slept with steal off in the middle of the night wasn’t exactly an ego boost. I was humiliated. I didn’t want to have to rehash it all.”
“I can’t believe you slept withConnor,” she yelped loud enough that I had to shush her. The last thing I needed was for someone to walk down the hall and overhear our conversation. She dropped her voice back down and added, “And I can’t believe that asshole bailed on you in the middle of the night.” Her brows pinched together angrily. I knew that look. It was the look that said she was about to rip someone a new asshole.
“Please don’t tell anyone,” I said quickly, placing the bottle on the counter and clasping my hands in a pleading gesture. “I’m begging you, Lenny. Please keep this to yourself. I don’t want anyone else to know.”
She rushed forward, taking my hands in hers. “Honey, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
I let out a short scoff. “I’m not so sure about that. I slept with a notorious playboy and was stupid enough to think something might actually come of it. I mean, come on, Len. The guy hasn’t exactly hidden the fact that he doesn’t do relationships.”
Her features softened as worry filled her gaze. “That’s why you looked so sad back there, isn’t it? You really felt something for him?”
I nodded, having to swallow down the massive lump that had formed in my throat before I could get the words out. “I did. I felt something big. I thought...” That ball of sadness was proving harder to dislodge than I’d hoped. “I thought we could be something like Rae has with Zach and your mom has with your dad. I wanted what my mom has with Micah, and I let myself start to see a future with him. Like I said, I was an idiot.”
“No, you weren’t,” she said fiercely before yanking me into a hug so tight it made my ribs creak. “You weren’t an idiot. I know you, Ivy, I know the only way you’d ever fall for a man that strongly is if he did everything he could to earn it.”
She wasn’t wrong. We’d been friends before anything else. At one point, I considered him one of my closest friends. We saw each other nearly every single day when he’d been staying at the ranch. It wasn’t like I’d jumped into something quickly. It happened naturally over time. Like we’d been building up to something for months before anything romantic ever happened.
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” I lifted my shoulders in a heavy shrug. “It’s done. Nothing is ever going to happen there, so I just need to move on.”
