Page 52 of Blood and War
“There is nothing left here!” He roared, eyes glazing over, darkening as the blood lust took over. Demitria watched as that familiar rage threatened to spill free from his incredibly thin restraint. “Nothing left for her to go back to.”
“Leave her, let her find her own way.” The snarl rumbled through Eire’s chest, matching Kellan’s own.
“She has lost her family, her home. Everything she ever cared about is gone, and you’re telling me to leave her here?” Demitrialet the whimper pass through her lips, her fingers tightening in his cloak as she turned her head into Kellan’s shoulder.
Gone.
Everything was gone, and the only thing they could do was argue. She didn’t know if she should scream. Flail. Anything to just…make it all stop.
“There’s a town to the north.” Gabriel’s voice was calm, collected, which was more than what she could say for the others. “It’s an eight-day ride, but that is where we’ll go.” Gabriel’s eyes met Kellan’s. “She’ll be safe there.”
She should be feeling grateful to them for not leaving her. Should be feelinganything,but she felt nothing. Paralyzed to the world around her. The heart wrenching pain that was consuming her.
Demitria couldn’t bring herself to thank Gabriel.
“Unbelievable.” Eire barked, cursing under her breath before turning away.
The darkness that swelled within was an endless pool of despair. Numb. Every limb. Every part of her felt numb. Couldn’t feel. She didn’t want to. Her own thoughts haunted her. Condemned her.
Everything she ever loved, gone. Her home. Her family.
Jace
Gone.
It was her fault. Everything was her fault. She’d been too late.She’d been too late. Had taken too long to return. She should have never left. She would have stayed behind had she known they’d come regardless. Running off had been the biggest mistake she’d ever made, and now she was paying the price. Would be for the rest of her life.
This pain wouldn’t go away. It never would. His face ingrained in her mind until even that no longer served her.
His death had broken her. Torn her in two. Demitria couldn’t live without him. Didn’t even want to begin to think of a life without him. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. She was never supposed to leave the community. It wasn’t what they had planned for their lives.
He wasn’t supposed to be dead.
Thirty-One
KELLAN
Kellan let the sigh pass through his lips as he ran a hand through his hair. Hours upon hours of silence haunted him, much like her screams had the night before. The sound tore through him, and then Eire? He’d barely been able to keep himself from tipping over that edge. Had never felt so disgusted by his own family before that moment.
“How is she?” Kane rode up beside him.
Demitria had been riding alone for hours, and Kellan thought it best to give her space to process, but he hadn’t been able to help the lingering stares as he watched her.
Kellan didn’t need to answer to tell his brother how Demitria felt. It radiated off her like a beacon. Lost. Broken. She wouldn’t speak. Wouldn’t look at either of them. Didn’t even flinch as his sister launched into a string of insults. She didn’t even look up. Her eyes glazed over. Demitria hadn’t even reacted to his touch. “Bad.”
He hadn’t had time to process anything that happened leading up to this. The rift with his siblings, Eire specifically. Or how she’d changed her mind on him and his siblings? Not to mention how she’dkissedhim!
Kellan couldn’t get that part out of his brain. Had tried to, on numerous occasions, but his mind kept coming back to the warmth of her mouth on his. The way she’d tasted. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this way.Ifhe had ever felt this way. There were so many years he couldn’t remember. Too many to count, down in the trenches of the Underworld where he’d servedhimas a puppet. That was why he had his own reservations about bringing Demitria with them. He feared the Dark King, probably more than the lot of them combined. And fear was something out of his repertoire. Had been beaten out of him time and time again until he no longer felt it, but after those years, even he couldn’t shake the fear of the male.
Kellan shook his head, running his hand down his face once more. He was fucked. So, so fucked. What he had done, what he wascontinuingto do, was forbidden. A Horseman and a human girl. He shouldn’t even be thinking about it. It wasn’t right, and Kellan knew that. He was no better than the bastard of a father that had sired him, but he couldn’t help himself. He wanted her, no matter how impermissible the situation was. He was a Horseman of the Apocalypse, his job was to restore the balance, then return to his world with his siblings when it was all said and done. But now? He didn’t know what he was to do anymore.
The wildly feared Horsemen, War, had changed into something that his siblings didn’t recognize.
Something he himself didn’t even recognize.
“Were they close?” His brother’s words pulled him from his thoughts. Kane knew about Jace. He’d explained it briefly to the lot of them, but hadn’t gone into detail out of respect.
“Unbelievably so.” He remembered the way she spoke of him at the community. The day she’d broken down in front of him. Jace had meant the world to her. Even more than that. He’d felt something that day, too. Something he had no business feelingtoward the male. Especially in that moment, but he wouldn’t touch on that now.
