Her presence felt like a burden among the Horsemen. She was slowing them down. They had a duty to perform, and returning her to the community—even though she didn’t want to go—was keeping them from that. Demitria couldn’t seem to keep herself out of trouble. How low they all must think of her.
“Let’s call it a night.” Kellan had been silent for hours now but he must have seen the tiredness in her face. She’d never admit it. Especially not to them. “The horses could use the rest.” Her eyes made their way to his, seeing nothing but that gentle look. The gesture was enough. His boots hit the ground first, swiftly carrying himself to where she still sat atop Atlas. Demitria didn’t reject his help to dismount as every muscle in her legs fought to hold her upright. And when his large hands wrapped around her, plucking her from the saddle with ease, she all but melted at their warmth.
Up ahead, the other two carried on a few more paces before finally coming to a stop. Eire mumbled something to her brother, but Demitria was too far to hear. Kellan’s face didn’t give any inclination on what had been said, either.
“How are you feeling?” He asked.
“Fine.” She lied. Looking anywhere but his face, but he knew.
“No one else can hear you. They’re all too busy arguing over who’ll take the first watch.” She let her gaze drift in their direction, toward Eire who seemed to be having an animated conversation with Gabriel before mounting once more and riding out of sight.
Kellan led her toward a small fire that Kane had promptly started upon dismounting. The warmth was a welcoming change for her body. Normally, she would have never entertained the idea of a fire out in the open like this, but with the Four Horsemen around it, she figured nothing would dare set foot within a ten-mile radius of them, unless they had some fucked-up death wish.
“Have I done something?” The plea in his voice had hit her far harder than it should have.
“I don’t know how I feel anymore.” She didn’t. Toward him? His siblings? She just didn’t know. “You’ve done nothing wrong.” The sigh that left her lips was enough. “You’ve done everything right. That’s the problem.” Well… aside from trying to kill and or maim her in the beginning. They had moved past that. She’d moved past that.Clearly.
“Before all this,” He motioned around them. “I was feared among my kind. Trained from a young age to fight. To kill. But my siblings were my life. They meant more to me than anything in the world, and I made it my mission to ensure nothing happened to them.” Kellan leaned back, looking up at the darkening sky around them. “The scars that mar my body… I was punished, time and time again for what they called foolishness and insubordination. For protecting my kin the only way I knew how, through slaughter and bloodshed. For not completing my assignments in acleanmanner, but I wouldn’t have done anything different.” Running a hand down his face, he returned those azure eyes to her as they darkened. “They stripped me of my very being, changed me, until I was thisbloodthirsty monster that most coveted.” A shudder ran through him, and she reached a steady hand toward him, resting it on his arm. Kellan stared at it for a long moment. “I?—”
“I meant what I said.” Demitria squeezed his arm for effect. “Whatever happened, you… you’re still good. I can see it in your eyes.”
“I’m anything but good.” He laughed then, the sound full, hearty, as it rumbled through her.
“You went against a direct order to kill me.”
“I had my reasons.” He shrugged.
“Answers, right.” Her own laugh bubbled through, and she stared off toward the horizon, looking for anything out of place. “Despite what I’ve said to you, you aren’t that crazed monster.” She’d watched him maim an Archangel, sure. He’d lived up to every thought in that moment. And maybe he still was that bloodthirsty being, but now? Deep down, Kellan was so much more than that.
“Will you look at me?”
She did. Kellan absently tucked a stray hair behind her ear. His fingers warm as they softly grazed across her cheek, the simple touch igniting a fire within her. Demitria felt her body moving closer. Toward the warmth that called to something in her blood. A pull, until she was no more than a hairs breadth from him. That sweet, woodsy smell wafting through her.Consumingher. And in that moment, she didn’t care who was around them as she let that pull guide her.
Demitria grazed her lips across his. Soft at first. Tentative, and was just about to pull away when his large hand fisted in the back of her hair, his free arm wound around her, pulling her close until she was nearly in his lap. Kellan kissed her with a new found fervor. Rough. Hard, and a hunger filled her as that need welled up in her body. Could hear the rapid thump of her heart, so loud she thought it was about to explode.
When she pulled away a few moments later, breath heavy, she gazed up at him. “I’m sorry, I—” The words caught in her throat as she scooted away from him, turning herself away. What the hell had she been thinking? Begging for his touch had been one thing, but kissing him?
She’d crossed a line.
“Tonight was?—”
Demitria cut him off. “It doesn’t change anything.” Or did it? Where did they even stand now? “It doesn’t change how I feel about you. About your kind.”
Her voice sounded hollow even to herself. It changed everything, and they both knew it.
Twenty-Nine
DEMITRIA
The morning sun broke through, casting a soft glow over their makeshift camp as Demitria stirred. She remembered curling her body along Kellan’s side for warmth sometime in the middle of the night, despite her reservations. And from the warmth that still radiated around her, he hadn’t moved a muscle since. She didn’t remember being wrapped in the familiar red cloak, but smiled at the gesture anyway.
Hushed voices from the other three Horsemen were what roused her from a dreamless sleep.
“Wake her.” Eire hissed. She’d been on patrol all night, refusing to change even when Gabriel had demanded it. Demitria had fallen asleep sometime after that, after hours of thrashing back and forth.
“No.” Kellan refused. She could feel him tense beside her, but didn’t move to get up, thinking it best they thought she was still asleep.
“Wake her, or I will.” Eire grumbled, and she could faintly hear the sound of a knife freed of its sheath. “It will not be pleasant.”
