Page 31 of Darn Knit All
“You’ve applied for leave, and you know I’ll look after the house. What else is there?”
“I need to learn how to fucking sew.”
My brother laughed but halted me as I reached the door.
“Theo, wait.”
I glanced back, hovering in the doorway.
Linc ran a hand through his hair. “This is gonna sound shit but… while you’re away, take some time to think about what you want.” He gestured to the office around us. “This has become my dream—and it’s for sure Annie’s. I know you’re invested, but I also know you’re not happy. We’re in a good place now. I want you to be in a good place too.”
I forced out a rusty laugh. “Trying to kick me out?”
He didn’t even smile. “Never. I know you. This isn’t your dream. And that’s okay if this is just a means to an end—like if your dream is traveling or buying a house or blowing all your hard-earned cash at the casino—don’t do that though. Please.”
I leaned against the doorway, waiting for him to finish.
“The point is, I think you’ve lost sight of what you want. I want you to—between all the filming—take some time to workout what you want.” He paused. “And look, if that’s leaving here and doing something different, then shit, we’ll miss you, but you need to do something that will make you happy. You’ve sacrificed enough.”
I jerked up my chin, silently acknowledging his words.
“Okay, get out of here.” He waved me off. “I need to rewrite the staff handbook.”
I hesitated. “Linc?”
He glanced up.
“Thanks.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I know that was hard to say. But I appreciate it.”
“Love you, bro.”
“Love you too.” I sighed dramatically, needing to lighten the mood. “I always knew you were the emotional one.”
He chuckled. “Get out of here. I have work to do.”
I drove home and pulled into the driveway of my rental, and sat in the car, staring at the faded weatherboard bungalow.
Linc’s words had struck a chord, unearthing a yearning question.
What do I want?
The unknown hung heavy in the air, frustratingly unreachable.
“You have time to work it out,” I reassured myself. “All the time in the world.”
I exited the car, hunching my shoulders against the cool afternoon breeze as it stirred the leaves that were just beginning to turn yellow. Soon, pumpkins and ghouls would appear, followed by mangers filled with apples—an old Astipia tradition that harked back to a time when farmers shared their harvest.
A floorboard creaked under my foot as I stepped into the house and closed my door, sealing myself inside the dim interior.
I’d moved into the bungalow when Linc and Annie had gotten serious. The temporary rental had been a place to pause until I found a better option—but somehow it had turned into a long-term arrangement.
Old furniture clashed with new purchases and peeling paint, dodgy floorboards, and threadbare rugs.
Was this really the life I wanted? Going through the motions with no passion?
“Fuck.” I closed my eyes. “Linc might be right.”
At some point, I’d lost sight of my dreams and desires. I’d put myself into a holding pattern.
