Page 41 of By His Side
Hayden laughed. I didn’t know him, but it didn’t sound like he was taking Darien that seriously. “You’re comparing Levi to Felix Church. Levi stole a few cars. He didn’t murder anyone.”
I closed my eyes against the mental pain of that same statement being thrown out so flippantly. You’d think over time it would get easier, that I’d be able to guard myself against it, to shrug it off, but it never got easier. It still cut like a knife whenever anyone said it. It wasn’t hard to imagine how the rest of the conversation would go. His brother would shatter whatever Darien and I had been building by holding up a mirror to us. Darien would come to his senses and realize that I wasn’t worth the hassle. He’d ask me to leave, and I’d be back on my own. Homeless. Friendless. And with people ready to lynch me at a moment’s notice.
“He’s innocent.”
“What?” There was a moment where I thought I’d said the word rather than Darien’s brother. It had certainly bounced around in my skull, shock making my knees go weak and forcing me to grab the wall for support. “What are you talking about? He was convicted.”
“The courts are not infallible. They make mistakes.”
“Is this something you’re trying to convince yourself of so you feel better?”
“No.” Darien’s response was emphatic, his voice steady, without a single shred of doubt in it. “I’ve gotten to know him over the past few weeks, and he could never have done what they said he did. He just doesn’t have it in him.”
Emotion clogged my throat, my fingers gripping onto the wall so tightly that my knuckles turned white. Even in my wildest imaginings, I could never have dreamed of Darien standing up for me like this. Especially not to the point of trying to convince someone else I was innocent.
“And how do you suppose the courts got it so wrong?” There was a thin thread of mockery in Hayden’s voice. I assumed his facial expression would match and was glad I couldn’t see it.
“They got it wrong because the actual murderer was an abusive asshole who treated Felix like shit, and they believed him.”
“Let me guess, he told you that?”
“At the beginning, yes. And I’m ashamed to admit that I didn’t believe him either. But living with him, I’ve seen it firsthand.” Something dropped into the pit of my stomach. He’d seen it. How, when I’d been so careful not to let it show? “It’s in the way he’s always so insecure when he cooks something, like no matter how much I praise him for it and tell him how much I enjoy it, he’s just waiting for me to throw it back in his face. And he talks in his sleep sometimes.”Did I?That was news to me.
“What does he say?” Interest had replaced mockery.
“He…” Darien’s voice did crack then. “He placates him, he strokes his ego, he says what he thinks he wants to hear. It’s painful to listen to.”
I rested my head against the door to guard against a rush of dizziness. Why hadn’t Darien said anything to me? I knew the answer to that, though. He hadn’t said anything because he hadn’t wanted me to flip out, to rebuild my barriers and risk the return of the snarling dog. In some ways, he knew me better than I knew myself.
Hayden said something, but it was too quiet for me to hear.
Darien sighed. “Am I or am I not an excellent judge of character?”
“You are.” The words sounded grudging.
“Then… trust me on this. Felix isn’t what the world believes him to be. I almost fell into that trap myself.”
“I’m worried about you.”
“I know.” There was a warmth in Darien’s voice now. “And I love you for it. I really do. But in this instance, your concern isn’t warranted. I promise you that.”
“And if work finds out about the two of you?”
“Then I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”
“You have feelings for him?” Hayden asked. “Feelings that go beyond sex, I mean?”
I held my breath, straining to hear Darien’s answer. The seconds felt like a lifetime as they ticked by.
“I do.”
A firework went off in my chest, and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling like a lunatic.
“Come here.” Hayden’s voice.
From how muffled Darien’s voice became, I assumed the two of them were hugging. “No protective brother act required.”
“Okay. I hear you loud and clear. But… you talk to me from now on, do you hear? Rather than keeping secrets.”
