Page 59 of For the Rest of Forever
So Allen took a breath and restarted. “I’d like to make it on time, so before ten. And if I’m remembering the schedule correctly, Casey will be in at eleven and Annabeth at one. So I’ll just need you there with me for the first hour or so.”
“Of course, darling,” Greg said. “Whatever you need.”
Allen’s heart did something funny in his chest, and it wasn’t that uncomfortable tightening and heaviness that he’d gotten so used to the last few weeks. There wasn’t an immediate sense of guilt or shame like he’d usually have, and he wasn’t silently wondering whether Greg would be happier spending his time some other way.
He wasn’t silently wondering whether Greg would be better off without him there.
No, he was happy to have Greg there, and he was ready to let Greg support him. And mostly, he was so incredibly grateful that he was loved.
God, he felt so much more like... himself.
It had been hard—all the talking they’d done in the last three days. And he knew there would still be more to talk about as theycontinued to work things out and figure out what all was going to be changing. Greg’s work and travel and... maybe Allen’s work too.
That had been something unexpected that had come up over the weekend—whether Allen might consider retiring or cutting back on his hours. He still wasn’t entirely sure. He did know that no matter what, he needed to be involved, a part of the community. But he had acknowledged, with Greg’s help and gentle support, that he needed to take care of himself as well. So they’d talked about whether he should maybe step down as the head librarian, focus his time on the community outreach programs at the library that he’d helped to develop, continue to mentor Casey and the other interns.
It would be a huge change. He’d worked at the North Bend Public Library in one capacity or another for over thirty years now, and the library had been his safe space, his home, his passion. But just as Greg had acknowledged about his own career and hobbies, it might be time to step back and focus on different things. Himself. His health. Their relationship.
And regardless of what they decided, they’d move forward together, as they always had. That was one thing that would always be true, and this weekend had only shown him—again—just how much he really was loved and just how much his happiness meant to his husband.
“What’s that smile for, darling?” Greg’s voice was low and held more than a trace of hope, and that made Allen smile again.
“It’s nothing. Just...” He paused and closed his eyes. How could he even articulate what he was feeling? That hadn’t ever really been easy for him, but he supposed he could sum it up with something that might also make Greg happy to hear. He blinked his eyes back open, and Greg was watching him with a kind expression, so full of love and understanding. Allennodded gently. “I’m just feeling a little better. A little more like I maybe have a handle on things, at least for now, I mean. A little more... me?”
Greg’s eyes brightened. “Ah, I love to hear that.”
Allen nodded again, because he felt the same, and as though with some silent accord, they leaned in together and kissed softly, briefly, slowly. His heart felt even more full and happy.
“Let’s get going?” Greg asked as he pulled away and straightened up. Allen murmured some sort of agreement, and a few minutes later, they were on the road, heading into town toward the ferry terminal.
The whole trip—from the cabin to the ferry, across the Puget Sound to the mainland, and then from where they disembarked in Anacortes down to North Bend—was relatively quiet and uneventful, and Allen found himself dozing off several times. When they pulled up at home, Allen stayed with Greg while he parked and unhitched the trailer.
They’d just started grabbing their stuff out of the back of the SUV to head inside when a burst of loud, rambunctious barking sounded off from their right. Beans suddenly seemed to materialize from out of nowhere, launching himself up into the hatch of the SUV and then jumping up to set his paws on Allen’s chest. The dog’s tail wagged furiously, and he barked again and bounced up on his hind legs to lick Allen’s face.
“Beans! You stinker. Ah, I missed you, though,” Allen said, laughing as he pushed the dog off of him and then scratched behind his ear. Beans barked again and then sat, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth and his tail still going.
Joe jogged up, shaking his head. “Ah, sorry about that, Allen! He must’ve heard you two get home, and when I opened the door, he took off.”
Greg laughed and reached out to shake Joe’s hand. “Thanks for taking care of him for us. He’s a stubborn one. I hope he didn’t give you much trouble.”
“No trouble at all, man, really. I’m glad to help. How was the trip? You both doing okay?” Joe asked the question of the two of them but glanced at Allen as he did.
And Allen let out a sharp breath and then nodded as Greg moved a little closer, his arm slipping up around Allen’s shoulders. “Yeah, yeah, we’re... we’re doing okay. Apparently, I, uh, needed the break more than I’d realized.”
He could say more; Joe was a wonderful neighbor and a great friend, and he’d been nothing but supportive and understanding, just like the rest of the community. But he also knew he didn’t need to—what he’d said was plenty for now. Greg seemed to agree, giving Allen’s shoulder a squeeze. And Joe just nodded.
“Yeah, we all need to get away every now and then,” Joe said, and he smiled and hooked his thumb back toward his house. “Well, I’ve gotta run—got a meeting in a few minutes. Glad you’re back, and let me know if you need anything, alright?”
“Thanks, Joe. We really appreciate it,” Greg answered for both of them.
Joe gave one more nod and then headed toward his house, and Allen turned back to Beans, who had plopped down in the open hatch of the SUV next to the single duffle bag Greg had purchased in Friday Harbor to pack all their stuff up in. He shook his head and then scratched Beans behind his ear again before reaching out to lift the small dog up. “Come on, you little stinker.”
Greg grabbed the duffle bag and shut the hatch, and together, they headed inside. Beans barked and bounded up the stairs as soon as Allen set him down, and Allen started to follow, but Greg shook his head, took Allen’s hand with a gentle squeeze, and started leading them toward the kitchen.
“I know you need to get ready for work,” Greg said, glancing back at Allen with a broad smile, “but this’ll only take a few minutes.”
“O-okay, I suppose I can—” Allen stopped abruptly in the entryway to the kitchen, and Greg shifted back a step to be at his side. His heart skipped a beat, and he leaned against his husband as he shook his head. “What... Greg, what is... ?”
Their small kitchen table was covered with an elegant white table cloth, and in the center sat a single lit candle, its flame flickering and illuminating the otherwise dim room. On either side of the table, among scattered rose petals in deep red and white, were two plates, each containing a single, large... donut.
