Page 15 of For the Rest of Forever
Allen sighed—to Greg’s ears, it sounded like a happy sigh—and then straightened up a bit and turned until he was facing Greg. He reached up and touched Greg’s cheek, and together, they leaned in for a brief kiss.
“We should get back,” Allen said when they parted.
Greg nodded, stood up, and helped Allen to his feet, not missing the grimace that Allen tried to hide. Beans, who had been sitting quietly, jumped up as well, eager to get going again. After Greg packed up their foam mats and shouldered his backpack, he slipped his hand into Allen’s, then brought Allen’s hand up and kissed his knuckles softly.
“I probably don’t need to tell you how happy I am that you said yes, but I’ll tell you anyway.” Allen’s eyes dipped down, but Greg shook his head, reached up, and tilted Allen’s chin back. “I’d already fallen for you, even just in the short time we’d known each other. And I loved your passion—yes, it was a different type of passion than mine, but”—Greg smiled gently and leaned in for another short kiss—“it was—and still is—beautiful. You are beautiful and kind and caring and compassionate. The best personI know. And I love you so much. Thank you for giving me a chance to show you that.”
Tears glistened at the corners of Allen’s eyes, and rather than speak, he simply nodded some sort of acknowledgement. And together, the two of them—plus Beans—started back down the mountain trail.
Chapter Eight
Allen
“There you go—your veryfirst library card! How neat is that? Are you ready to go pick out some books?”
The small child on the other side of the desk smiled and nodded, her bright blue eyes full of excitement. Allen’s heart felt as full as ever, and he glanced briefly up at Tina, their neighbor and friend who also coordinated outings for a local homeschool group. Tina gave him a small, knowing grin and knelt down next to the girl.
“You said kittens and dragons, right?” Tina said, and when the girl nodded again, Tina looked back up at Allen.
“I knowjustthe right books,” Allen told her, and he stood up, ignoring the soreness in his muscles from the previous morning’s hike. “Follow me, and we’ll see what we can find.”
The next fifteen minutes were spent ushering a few children around the library and directing them to find books that would interest them at their reading level. Kittens and dragons for Kiera, monster trucks for Dylan, unicorns for Sara and Silas, andsuperheroes for Finn. The group was smaller than normal, but no less enthusiastic, and Allen felt a mixture of relief and joy at seeing new faces—like Kiera, who was visiting the library for the first time.
When everyone had checked out their books, Allen handed out special bookmarks to each of them, and the children all gathered around, their arms loaded with books, happy and smiling. Allen let his gaze drift over the small group, and he felt a tightness in his chest.
They almost hadn’t come today—the whole group. Allen and Annabeth had worked hard Tuesday and Wednesday to rally Tina to try and convince the parents to let their children come. It wasn’t that there was doubt about the safety of the library. Not really. Just that many of the parents wanted to push the gathering back a week or two to sort of let the dust settle.
But Allen had needed this today as much as he knew the children did, and he’d been elated when Tina had called him yesterday evening to confirm the group’s visit, especially knowing what he still had going on later in the afternoon.
“Thank you for coming to visit, friends. I hope to see you all again next week!” Allen said cheerfully, pushing away his uneasy thoughts as he waved goodbye to the group. But once Tina had ushered them all out the door and the library was quiet again, Allen had to work a little harder to not struggle. He busied himself with tidying up, and Annabeth kept him company, as though she knew how tenuous his good mood was.
When three o’clock finally came, Allen said his goodbyes to Annabeth, pocketed his cell phone, and headed out. He wasn’t surprised to find Greg already waiting for him at the bottom of the steps outside.
“How was your day, darling?” Greg asked as Allen came down the stairs to meet him.
Allen tried to speak, to tell Greg that he’d in fact had a pretty good day, but his words failed him at the moment. When he didn’t respond, Greg just reached out and took his hand.
“You’re strong and brave for doing this,” Greg said, and he led them over to where his SUV was parked just a few feet away. “And remember, you don’t have to do this. We can leave at any time. You don’t have to say anything to them, and if it’s too much, we can cancel, or—”
Allen stopped and shook his head. “Don’t let me do that. I need to go, even if it’s hard. Please, Greg. It’ll be better for those boys if I let them say what they’ve planned, and...” He trailed off when he felt Greg squeeze his hand.
They’d talked about all of this the day before, and he’d explained his position to Greg then. And although Greg hadn’t said anything, Allen could tell Greg didn’t quite agree with his viewpoint. He didn’t blame Greg—he knew his position left him vulnerable. But he felt strongly enough that he was doing the right thing, even though his husband didn’t share his conviction.
“I want to show them kindness and forgiveness, Greg,” Allen said quietly. “I really believe it’s the only way this will have a positive impact on their lives.”
“I know, darling... I just worry about you.”
Greg reached out ahead of them to open the passenger side door, and Allen blinked and looked down at the ground again, trying to convince himself it was okay for Greg to worry about him. It was difficult though, not to let the guilt rise up like it wanted to so often lately. He took a deep breath and nodded.
“I know, and I’m trying really hard to just be strong because I really, really believe this. It’s going to be very hard, but I’m the adult here, and they’re just kids, and if adults can’t show kindness to them, how are they going to learn to have more kindness themselves?”
These weren’t new thoughts, but he had to repeat them now. He had to remind himself of why he’d made the decision so he could get through the next however long without completely breaking down.
“You’re right. You’re absolutely right, and I’m behind you one hundred percent,” Greg said, his expression softening.
Allen just nodded weakly and let Greg help him into the SUV. A few minutes later, they were on the road, heading up Snoqualmie-North Bend Road toward the police station in neighboring Snoqualmie. The drive was short, only about ten minutes, but it felt much longer to Allen as he stared out the window and tried not to worry more. The sun shone brightly overhead, and outside looked peaceful as always, the mostly rural-ish area set in a low valley between the mountains.
Greg reached over and took his hand, and Allen pulled his gaze away from outside to turn to his husband. Greg was still watching the road ahead, but he lifted Allen’s hand up to his mouth and placed a gentle kiss on Allen’s knuckles.
