"I was going to ask you the same question. But don't worry," I said with a calm I didn't feel, "I overheard you telling Asta about your phone call.”
"What did you hear?" he asked, his face paler.
"I heard all I needed to hear. I decided to make this easy for you and see myself out. I would rather receive the divorce papers privately than be kicked out like a stray cat."
The iciness in my words hid my heartbreak. I couldn't tell him just how much this had affected me. I was grateful for my feigned bravery as Alex went from being confused to being angry.
"Just like that, then. After everything we have been through together, it is easy for you to pack up and move on without a second thought."
His words stung, but I didn’t let it show. I just shrugged and turned back to my suitcase.
"I should've known better," he muttered. "Fine, if this is what you want, then go. I won't stop you."
I paused halfway through zipping the bag closed. Those were the exact opposite words I wanted to hear. I wanted him to say that he had reconsidered the whole thing and realized he wanted this to be as real as I did. Iwantedhim to stop me. But he stayed true to his word as I swung the suitcase off the bed and rolled it down the hall behind me. He followed me every step of the way. The only mercy was that Asta had gone to bed and would not question why I was leaving. We moved through the house silently, but I could feel his frustration rolling off him in waves.
Outside, I went to my truck, and he pulled the bag from my hands, our fingers brushing for a split second. It was enough to make me long for our closeness in the library only an hour ago. He put my bag in my truck's bed and shoved his hands in his pockets, shifting from one foot to another. I opened my mouth to talk, not knowing how to say goodbye in this situation; I quickly slammed my jaw closed. We stood there like that for a moment before I finally climbed into the cab of my truck.
He moved to stand beside the open window, and the expressionless mask he wore for business was firmly back on his face. I hated to leave like this, but I didn't know what else to do. I sat with my hands, unmoving, on the steering wheel.
“What will you do?” I whispered.
“I am leaving for New York in the morning.”
I nodded, feeling sicker with each passing moment.
“Goodbye, Agotia.”
He said the words like he was speaking over a casket, filled with grief and loss, unlike the angry man he had been a few minutes ago. I blinked back my tears and stammered to find the right words, but he was gone when I had gathered my thoughts enough to look up at him.
The days passed in a blur. I had driven home that night in a fog, and when I awoke the following day in my bed, I realized how lucky I was to have made it home safely. My eyes burned from the hours I spent crying. I knew I was worrying the farm workers and Asta too, who had called at least twice every day and stopped by a few times, but I didn’t care. They were not who I wanted to see.
I knew grief well. At least, I thought I did. I had lost both of my parents as well as my grandparents. The sharp pains of loss were not unfamiliar to me, yet this heartache was unlike anything I had ever felt before. I didn't eat and didn't sleep. I didn't do anything but wait around for the day the divorce papers would show up in the mail. Only, they never did.
Chapter twenty-five
Alexander
Itiltedmyheadagainst the back of the seat, exhausted from what this week had been. I had landed in New York six days ago, and it had taken me less than two hours to realize that this was not where I wanted to be. I still had not called my lawyer to start the divorce papers, and with each passing day, I realized that divorce was a word I never wanted to hear again.
Since then, I have worked furiously on setting myself up to be able to run the business from Norway. I wasn't sure if that was where Agotia wanted to stay, but when I told her how I felt, I wanted to reassure her that I would do whatever it took to make things work for us.
My mother and sisters were not surprised by my efforts, only that Agotia did not fly back with me. Nori remained my only family who knew that my relationship with Agotia had started as a business deal. I could only hope that it would end differently.
It had taken me longer than I wanted it to for me to wind up back on a plane headed for Norway. It was a constant battle with myself not to call her or message her because Agotia deserved more than that. She earned the grand gesture, the expensive wedding. She deserved all of me, not a watered-down version, and I was determined to give her everything I had.
Life without her, even a week, was enough to make me realize that the feelings Asta had been so sure were real, not just an infatuation. I loved Agotia, and it was past time that she knew it.
When the plane finally landed, I was a bundle of nervous energy. I knew I was doing what I had to do, but after the way we parted, I was not sure how Agotia would react to me being back. I could only hope that Asta had been right in her assertion that Agotia cared for me even a fraction of how much I cared for her.
Unlike the last time I drove to Voss, I didn't look at the winding tree line or the beautiful mountain scenery. Even the babbling water that rushed beside the road faded into the background. All I could think about was Agotia.
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her golden blonde hair blowing through the breeze, and her sterling blue eyes glimmered when she laughed. I thought about how hard she worked to save her family business and did everything she could to keep her dignity intact. I thought about the way she brought joy to Asta, about the warmth and life she brought back to the lodge, to my life. I didn’t know what it would take, but I would do anything to win her back.
The driver dropped me off at the end of Agotia’s driveway. It was a walk, but I wanted these last few minutes to think through what I would say. The cold mountain air whipped around my face as I approached her front door. The walk went by too quickly, and I had half a mind to keep pacing until I knew what I would say, but before I knew what I was doing, my knuckles rapped against her front door.
“Asta, if that's you, I'm not in the mood for company," she called out from behind the still-shut door.
I could hear the floor creak as she crossed the house. The door handle turned, and my heart raced.
