Page 12 of Acts of Contrition
“Fucking Rick?” I guess, letting her inside.
“I let him know in advance I’d be two hundred short on rent and have it by the third and he decided to let me know how much he appreciated my heads up.” Her voice trembles even as she sounds angry. “But that’s not the worst part.”
It doesn't look like he assaulted her, not going by her clothes and face, so what’s worse?
“He’s coming back this afternoon. When Whitney gets home from school.”
My whole body freezes at that implication. “You’re fucking with me.”
She shakes her head and bursts into tears. She’s much older than me, but she’s so small, so frail, so sweet. Things I never got to be. Learning the hard way what the world is like to women at thirty-something? That has to be a shock.
“Let me hide her tonight. He can’t stay at your place forever,” I suggest. “I’d say I’d hide you, too, but he obviously knows where you live and will come back. But at least this way…”
This is bullshit. I have to tell a woman she’s going to be assaulted just to protect someone even more vulnerable.
Mrs. T keeps nodding as she tries to catch her breath. “Yes, please. I will deal with whatever he does to me, just please protect her.”
So, that afternoon, Mrs. T ushers little Whitney over to my place.
“But I don’t understand,” the kid says once her mom kisses her goodbye. She puts her backpack on my threadbare secondhand couch. “What does Mom need to do?”
“Just a grown-ups’ meeting,” I tell her. “Want a snack?” I don’t have much, I still don’t eat much, but I have chocolate pudding pops and Whitney happily eats one.
“Hey, I have something I need to read, but do you want to watch TV? You can put it as loud as you want,” I tell her. “In fact, blast it so I can hear it out here, okay? The TV is in my room.”
Her big eyes light up and she gives me a slightly sticky hug. “You are so cool for an adult!”
She literally dashes away and just in time, as I hear Rick calling for Mrs. Thompson, banging on her door.
Whitney has found the YouTube app on my crappy smartTV and the sounds of a popular song about love seven daysa week should be enough to drown out the sounds I can barely hear out here.
Closing my eyes, I try to stave off flashbacks.
You’re out of there now,my conscience reminds me.And you’re helping another child not be in your position.
I can’t believe the neighbors don’t report the sounds coming from the Thompsons’ apartment, but maybe they’re used to it. Maybe they were threatened too. Maybe the men wish it was them doing it. Who knows?
It feels like hours before the sounds stop and I hear Rick shout, “If that two hundred isn’t there by tomorrow this time, there’s nowhere you or your fucking slut daughter can hide from me. You will get that money, or she’ll earn it.”
No. Fuck no, Hell no, justno.
I’d rather die than know a child will go through what I did.
There goes my weekend off. But it will be worth it.
After I ensure Mrs. Thompson is okay and help her in the aftermath, I send Whitney home and get ready to go to my usual spot in the city.
I sigh to myself, wishing I didn’t have such a big heart. But if Mrs. Thompson doesn’t have that last $200, I don’t think I can hide her daughter any longer than I did today. And then what happens to Whitney? She’s fucking twelve, she doesn’t deserve this, any of this.
Just like I didn’t.
One more sigh and I round the corner where some of the other girls stand and assess them.
Stand near the uglier ones, or the ones whose bodies don’t look as good. That’s how you get chosen. Sad but true; I guess I got blessed with being pretty so I could have some sort of living … even if I’d rather die.
And if I wasn’t worried about Whitney and her mom, I’d do it. No one would look for me until long after I was dead and my rent was late. Or they smelled my rotting corpse. Whichever.
Okay, Diana. Stop thinking and go out there and present,I scold myself and step forward. I see Sin turn to look at me and grimace. I usually stand near her. Her pink hair gets attention, and then they spot me and choose me over her nearly emaciated form. Despite the fact I’m still extremely thin, my boobs always get attention.
