Page 14 of Kissed By the Sun
What I saw there wasn’t the same relief I felt, or maybe there was a tiny bit of that, but the rest of it?
Overwhelming anger.
Rage.
At me.
The surprise of it had me falling backward onto my butt, landing on the disgusting ground of the battlefield that had once been a town.
“What in the cursed god’s name were you thinking?” he demanded, the words filled with vitriol that had never been directed at me before. He had no patience for me at that moment it seemed, since he was already pushing to his feet and stumbling away from me.
“Thorn!” a male voice called out.
“Here! Everything dealt with?” Thorn strode away from me as though he hadn’t just been struck by lightning and fighting for his life; meanwhile I was left with emotional whiplash.
Everything had been so overwhelming, ever since we’d been training this morning. Had it really only been a few hours ago? It felt like a completely different time in some ways. I had been smaller, still more human than fae in some ways, but now that had all changed. I was fae. More fae than human at that, and I believed what Thorn and Cassial had been trying to tell me all along.
I’d never been human.
At least not completely.
Maybe if I remembered my parents as more than just emotions and vague colors and shapes I’d have a better chance at figuring out if I was full fae or half, but either way I couldn’t change who I was; I could only accept it.
If Thorn didn’t like what I’d done then tough shit. It wasn’t like I’d had much of a choice, and by the moon in the sky I wasn’t going to be a captiveora queen. Neither was what I’d told the mage in the mask, and it was what I’d meant.
With the fire that I’d felt in that moment when I’d been facing the mage reignited in my belly, I pushed to my own feet and tried my best to ignore the wet sensation on my ass from my trousers. They weren’t even really mine, just something I’d intended to borrow and return to the lost and found, but now? There was no way I was going to get them clean enough that I’d feel okay about that.
Still, all of that could wait for later. I needed to find Thorn and figure out what in the moon goddess’s name was going on with him.
“Finish clearing out the last few buildings and round up the survivors to take them back to the city,” Thorn’s voice was cool and collected as he gave orders.
“So you can give directions,” I murmured, mainly to myself, but I didn’t care if he heard me as well.
The other soldiers walked away,leaving me standing there, not really knowing what to do, which was when Thorn turned to face me.
“Yes. I can give directions.” He opened his mouth to say more. But my frustration got the better of me.
“Why didn't you give me directions earlier then?” I demanded. “Why did you get me off the horse and then leave me in the village with no idea what we're supposed to be doing? I ran into that crowd of corrupted fae because I didn't know we were supposed to clear the houses first. I could have easily died. If Wynn hadn't cast her magic earlier, and I had still been smaller I probably would have died. And what the hell was that person in a mask? A mage? No one ever mentioned the corrupted fae having mages. Plus, his mask was creepy.”
Thorn took a step toward me. His hand out-stretched as though he wanted to draw me to him or something. I couldn't let that happen though. Not in our current situation. Not when anybody could see us.
“You think that didn't occur to me?” Thorn practically snapped. “You think that the whole time I was fighting in the square I wasn't terrified that you were going to die?”
I wanted to tell him that I didn't believe him. I wanted to pretend to be stupid, innocent, naive, whatever you wanted to call it. But that also wasn't me. Sure, I could do that but he and I would both know better. He had been worried about me the whole time, just like I’d been worried about him.
I wasn't about to let him get away with acting like a reckless hero, though. He knew better than that. He was a warrior, at least according to his people and the number of earrings he wore these days. I had never known until we arrived in the capital that fae were honored with earrings. If they performed well in battle,if they did the court a great service, all if it was rewarded with an earring. It was just a simple gold hoop, but it meant a lot, and according to how many Thorn had? He was a very talented warrior and prized by the courts.
“If you're so smart, then why did you come charging in by yourself?” I countered, not wanting to respond to his original sentiment.
“Why not?”
“You should have waited, gone to get backup or something. You’re the commander after all, aren’t you supposed to be responsible?”
I could practically see the moment he made up his mind. His eyes focused on me with an intensity that would have left me breathless if I had never experienced it before, and even though he was staring at me like that I knew he was also taking everything around us.
“Look, just go over there and wait by the tree. I’ll come and find you in a second and we can talk about this without having to worry abouteverything.” He gestured vaguely with his hand as he spoke and I knew what he was really trying to say was we wouldn't have to worry about people overhearing us.
It wasn’t like we could run around talking about how we were each other's mates or whatever the term was that they used. It still rankled to be sent away from the battlefield when the fight was only just over though.
