“Tell me about you.” I wait patiently, not sure if he will actually respond. I wouldn’t blame him either way; he doesn’t know me and certainly doesn’t owe me anything.
He pulls me back towards him, resting his head on top of my own. Perhaps it’s easier to speak about himself without eye contact. “I was born in Percius. I have a sister. My parents are the tough-love kind, but they aren’t cold. My sister, Ayda, is younger than me by a decade. She has this personality that overflows onto others. I swear in all our years I’ve only seen her unhappy a handful of times.” He huffs a laugh. “I’m her polar opposite in that regard. I started training as a soldier as soon as I was able, which is when I met Kailu. We were close friends, until just a few decades ago…”
When he trails off, I can feel the sorrow leaking out of him. “What happened?”
He shakes his head, as if clearing the memories. “Unfortunately, that isn’t my story to tell.”
I’m nosy and want to pry, but I respect his wishes. “What about you, though? You told me about your family and how you met Kailu, but I asked aboutyou.”
He raises an eyebrow at me, almost as if he doesn’t know how to answer. As if no one has ever asked about him in particular.
“I’m not sure what you want to know.”
I give him a smile, the first one I feel like I’ve made in days. “Let’s play a game, I ask a question and then you do. Deal?”
He smirks, that panty-melting smirk that I’m sure every female and even some males would drop their clothes at. His smile grows like he can hear my thoughts, and my cheeks burn.
Tucking my face back into his side, I ask my first question. “What’s your favorite color?”
Malakai chuckles at my mundane question, but he still answers. “Black.”
I roll my eyes and feel his silent chuckle. “How original,” I say sarcastically.
“What’s yours, then, smarty pants?”
“Silver,” I blurt, without fully thinking about why. And then I pause, jerking my head back. Right up until the moment I spoke, it had been blue. But his damn eyes made me change my mind without thinking. They’re like endless pools of liquid metal, swirling silver that seem to truly see me and who I am at my core.
His arms stiffen at my response, but he makes no other comment, saving me from extreme embarrassment.
It’s his turn to ask a question, but I say, “What do you do for fun?” all the same. I’m kind of scared of what he might consider fun.
He doesn’t seem perturbed I stole his turn. “I don’t know if it would be consideredfunfor some, but I enjoy being outdoors—exploring new places, especially.”
My breath catches. I know exactly what he means. “I used to enjoy that as well, though it’s been a while. This is the most I’ve gotten out in over a year, and safe to say it has been less than pleasant most of the time.”
He makes a noise deep in his throat, as if in understanding. “Do you have any family besides the brother we’re rescuing? Did they stay behind in the Caselian Realm?”
My heart seizes at his question. For the first time, I actually want to tell someone about my life before this. Something deep inside me tugs, like someone stands at the other end of a string, pulling me along. It’s the same sensation I felt on the ship when we first docked here.
And just like then, I put my trust in that tug now. “When I was a baby, my parents found me in a compost heap outside one of the markets they sold crops to. My birth mother threw me away like rubbish. They called the sheriff, but no one could find out who she was. So, they took me home and raised me as their own, even though they already had a four-year-old boy. At no point did I ever feel unwanted or like an outsider. I even had a best friend, Elizabeth. Other than my brother, she was the only friend I had. Everyone at school treated me like I was different, but not her.”
I pause, remembering the moment it all changed. “She became popular and rumors about me started spreading. She no longer wanted to be seen with me. Looking back, I get she was scared. The rumors alone could have sent us both to the execution block. I had my first boyfriend, and I thought I loved him…You know how anyone feels about their first real relationship, I suppose.” I break off, chuckling. “He left shortly after I told him I wouldn’t sleep with him.
“School just wasn’t great for me. I never truly fit in. I always had my brother, though, and my parents. My father more so than my mother. She was a tad standoffish with me, especially as I got older. I always thought it was most likely because I wasn’t truly hers. My father never made me feel like that, though, nor Elion. At least, until my parents weren’t there anymore either, until death ripped them from me. And now here I am. I lost Elion, too, and I didn’t matter enough for Kailu to stick around. I’m used to people leaving, so I’m not sure why it even bothers me anymore.” I let out a slow breath, leaving myself vulnerableand emotionally flayed.
Malakai curses. “That’s not why he left. I need you to know that.”
I shrug. “It doesn’t matter.”
He turns me towards him, gripping my shoulders hard—not hard enough to bruise, but enough that he knows I’m paying attention. “Your feelingsdomatter.Youmatter. And anybody who ever made you feel otherwise is a fool.”
I can feel the tears building in my eyes, but don’t let them fall. I’m so very tired of crying. I raise my gaze to the starry sky instead, unsure of when the sun set or how much time has passed.
“Did they ever find your birth mother?” Malakai asks quietly.
“No,” I whisper into the hushed night. “They questioned many people, but no one knew anything. Or, at least, no one wanted to admit that they’d gotten rid of me.”
He stares off into the trees, his arm back around my shoulders. “What did you mean you were always different?”
