This can’t be happening right now.
For fuck’s sake.
What will Hope think of me?
She’ll think I’m weak.
She’ll think something is wrong with me.
I’m being strange.
I wish I were in my room.
I can’t cry here.
What should I do?
And why the fuck can’t I breathe?
I need my mind to slow down.
Why are there so many thoughts flooding in my mind?
Why the fuck can’t I stop thinking?
I need air.
I need to lie down on my bed and stare at the ceiling.
I need that right now.
The mayhem in my head gets stronger and louder. I hear so many voices; I can’t find my own.
“Heath, look at me.”
I do as she says.
“Listen to me only.” She runs her thumbs over my cheeks. I realize she’s cupped my cheeks.
My face is in her hands.
“It’s okay,” she assures me.
“Take a deep breath with me.” She shows me.
I copy her.
“Again,” she instructs.
I do as she says, maybe because she’s doing it with me.
I’m not alone in this.
Doing it with her doesn’t make it seem so difficult.
We do it for a while, I don’t know how long, but by the end, a string isn’t tied around my chest.
“You’re okay,” she tells me as she wraps her arms around me tightly.
