Page 9 of Catch a Wave
Kalaine looks up at me, the clear evidence of her trauma written all over her face. “I told him I didn’t want to be alone in my place in Costa Rica. Besides, I didn’t really want to have to face everyone there—not yet. The whole town’s heard about what happened—seen the recording on YouTube. I don’t want a million questions every time I leave the house. Kai tried to talk me into staying with our parents. When I refused, he admitted he had a room where I could stay. He said something about a detail he needed to iron out …”
Her voice trails off and I raise my hand. “Me. I’m the detail.”
“I kinda figured that out. Kai didn’t say anything to you?”
“No. But he did say there was something he needed to talk to me about. He’s kind of been … busy. And we haven’t had any time alone. I had people over last night. We’ve had customers constantly coming into the watersports shack where we work. Did Kai know you were coming today?”
“I didn’t give him an exact date.” Mavs’ lips draw thin and her eyes crinkle with amusement. “I guess telling him when to expect me would have helped. But he really could havementioned you living here at some point over the past two years.”
I don’t say anything. If I defend Kai, I’m asking for all Mavs’ irritation to be turned on me for something I wasn’t party to. If I don’t defend him, I’m throwing him under the bus when he’s done nothing but help me rebuild a life. I deserve Kalaine’s anger—just not for this.
“Well. I don’t know what I’m going to do.” Mavs’ voice is small again, her shoulders slumped.
“You’ll just stay here.”
“What? No! No way. No offense, Bodhi, but you and I …” she waves her pointer finger between the two of us. “We’re not at the point where I can live under the same roof as you.”
Sobering reality. Her words feel like a slap.
She’s right. We’re not what we were. I did that. And some harms may never be undone no matter what I’d give to turn things around and give us both a second shot.
This short respite today has been sweet, but in another way it’s the worst kind of cruelty because I got a taste of her. And I want more. I always wanted more with her. She’s the only woman who ever made me want more.
My craving for her may never diminish. But I forfeited my right to pursue her. And now, she’s at her most vulnerable point. It would be the height of selfishness to pursue her when she needs time to sort out her thoughts and her life. I know what she needs more than anyone. I’ve been right where she is. Only, when I turned to Kai, I didn’t have to run into an ex while I was seeking a safe place to stay.
“I spend a lot of time at work,” I find myself convincing her before I’ve even considered the ramifications of what I’m offering. All I know is I can’t stand to see her so unsettled. She’s the freest spirit I’ve ever known. I won’t be the reason she sinksand can’t get back up again. “I can stay out of your way. I mean, if you stay here, I’d make it easy on you.”
“It wouldn’t be—easy on me. It wouldn’t be easy on you either, I imagine. You’re being naive if you think it would. But I don’t really have another option. Kai was my last stop.”
“Well then, it’s settled. Let me show you to the guest … I meanyourroom.”
5
KALAINE
Sometimes the hardest part isn’t letting go,
but rather learning to start over.
~ Nicole Sobon
Ihobble behind Bodhi, down a hall that feeds off the living room. Doors line the hallway. He points to each one as we pass.
“That’s the coat closet. There’s the guest bath. We’ll turn it into yours.”
Just like that. I’ve got to hand it to him, he’s as unrattled as ever. The only time I saw Bodhi come unglued was after his accident. Then, he was unrecognizable to me. It was like someone had stolen in overnight and switched out his personality. Where the easy-going, carefree, winsome flirt of a man had taken up residence, a shell remained. And that shell was filled with a sullen, lost soul.
Bodhi said something about the rooms just now but my mind was off in the past somewhere.
“What?”
“I said, that room’s mine and that one’s Kai’s. You want to put something like itching powder in his sheets? Or we could short-sheet him. Maybe switch out his toothpaste for some sort of senior citizen muscle rub?”
“I use that muscle rub now.”
“I’m sure you do.” He winks at me, and it’s meant to be friendly.
I appreciate his attempt to lighten the situation and distract me from the reasons forcing me to be here bumming a room from my older brother.
