Page 34 of Beautiful Life
“Trust me, Paige, you’ll like bossy someday,” Sophia informs her little sister.
“Whatever,” Paige mutters.
“Smut,” Audrey adds. “Read lots of smut. It helps to keep things interesting in, well, that department.”
“I’m not sure we need help in,” Gabby looks over to her future mother-in-law and then decides to whisper, “that department.”
“Well of course you don’t now. It’s new. But sometimes it’s fun to have a little inspiration,” Audrey replies grinning.
Gabby looks skeptical but plays along. “If you say so. Next?”
“Make his favorite meals, it’ll make him happy,” Micah offers, as she accepts her new drink from the waiter.
“Jude does eat a lot of my salads,” Gabby mutters. “I need to remember that one. Next?”
“And keep his favorite drinks in the house,” Charlotte adds. “Really, they’re very simple creatures. Sex, food, and drinks. It doesn’t take a lot to keep them happy. But you might have to learn to watch ESPN. SportsCenter lasts an entire hour. But that’s when you just cuddle up next to him and read your smut. He’ll appreciate you not talking during SportsCenter, anyway.”
“That should be easy, Jude is mostly a beer guy and I already watch sports with him. But I might have to remember that about SportsCenter. An hour is way too long for sports news. Got it. Next?”
“Oo-oo! I know,” Clara interjects. “Sleep naked while you can. Trust me, when you have kids, you can’t.”
“This is true,” Charlotte mutters. “Once you have kids, you never know when you’re gonna end up with an extra guest in your bed. Unless you wanna invest in therapy, you won’t wanna be naked when they climb in.”
“Sleepin,” hiccup, “naked was the best,” Micah slurs in remembrance of the event.
“Huh? Sleep naked. Okay, point taken. Next?” Gabby moves on, but this time she catches my eyes with her bright blue ones.
Even in her drunken state, she knows I have nothing to add since the entirety of my married experience was miserable. She reaches over and grabs my hand to give it a squeeze. Her squeeze gives me the courage and even with all the alcohol I find my words. “You don’t need to do a thing, girlie. He loves you. Just be you but whatever you do, be happy.”
Gabby gives my hand a pull and I lean forward to hug her. “Thank you,” she whispers in my ear. But she goes on to shock me. “You’re loved, too, Leigh. And not just by me. Maybe it’s time for you to be happy, too.”
“Oh, I’m going to cry,” Susan says, from across the fire.
“Me, too,” Lizzie and Tia say at the same time.
I don’t have an answer for my best friend, so I give her a shrug.
With that, she becomes louder in her loose lipped drunken state. “It’s time, Leigh. You need to sit back and let it happen. Don’t fight it.”
“Don’t fight what?” Audrey asks.
“Oh nothing,” Gabby says. “I’m just so giddy and loved I can’t help but want to spread the bliss. But I think I’ve had enough advice for one night. I’m afraid it’s gonna get naughty and my future mother-in-law is here, so it cannot get naughty.”
“Thank you, Gabby,” Susan replies.
But my attention is drawn back across the fire to Paige who has her beer raised in the air and is singing I Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore. She gives me a grin and a wink, tipping her beer as if she’s dedicating it to me.
“Oh, shit,” I mutter under my breath as I pick up my fresh martini and down half of it as I hear Gabby laugh beside me.
“She must be off her game from all the drinking,” Sophia states. “This is a terrible song for Gabby and Jude.”
At that, Paige bursts out laughing which honestly is better than her silently dedicating ancient love songs to me. But just when I think I’m catching a break, like mother like daughter, Lizzie picks up where Paige left off. Then Gabby joins in, along with all the other Carpinos and Susan.
Screw it. I down the rest of my martini, catch the waiter as he walks by to signal for another and sit back to take in our group who are butchering the corny love song.
I realize in my mostly drunken state how different I am than them. They love each other, support each other, and know what’s going on in each other’s lives. I’ve never had that. Tony’s had that his whole life. He didn’t just have a mother and a father and sisters to love him, but a big, crazy family to top it off with a cherry on top. I have a mother who’s shacking up with some loser in the next state and a strung-out sister living in Florida. Neither of them came when I was in the hospital after I lost my baby. Neither of them bothered to see that I was taken care of, or to help remove me from an abusive husband, or even call to check on me for that matter.
I know I haven’t been thinking things through lately, but I’m not blind as to what Tony wants. I’m just not sure I’ll ever fit into this—be what he wants, what he’ll eventually need. But I want to be a part of this more than anything.
