Page 74 of Paths
I especially wasn’t anxious the day I made sure my dad would never fuck with us again. That day was nothing but a relief.
But now, standing in front of her, having to explain my actions, yet prove to her it’s her choice? That it’ll only ever be what she wants?
I’m fucking anxious.
In a short time, this woman has stirred emotions in me I never knew existed, and before that, she just plain saved me.
It’s not helping that her face is a mix of wonder, fear, and fuck me, I think she’s got tears in her eyes. She has no idea what that does to me.
I bought that ring with only one intention—to make her mine. I knew I’d use it if I needed to make a statement. I had no idea what to expect from her family or that asshole ex of hers. I knew I’d be taking a chance if I was forced to put it into play. It’s not too soon for me, but I can see how it might be for her.
Throw all that in a pot and stir it up along with what just happened at dinner, it’s a lot of shit for her to deal with. That makes me even more anxious.
“What just happened?” she repeats, more forcefully.
Never good with words, I hope like hell I don’t fuck this up.
“I’m curious.” It’s a lame start, but I’m buying time. I shift my weight and cross my arms, but I really need to know, so I jerk my chin toward her. “How does it feel?”
Her brows instantly pucker. “How does it feel?”
“Yeah,” I confirm. “I know it fits, but how does it feel?”
She spreads her fingers out in front of her, and her other hand comes up to touch the diamond I just slid on her finger. She doesn’t look away from her ring as she shakes her head. “I’m not sure.”
“You’ve gotta feel something, Maya,” I insist, dropping my arms and taking a step. I don’t like all this space between us.
“I mean.” She twists it back and forth a bit, not looking away from her hand. “I don’t know. It feels,” she looks up at me, confusion still clouding her features, “heavy?”
I frown, wondering what the hell that means. “Heavy?”
She nods, looking back to her hand. “Yes. Heavy.”
“Heavy…” I let the word hang on my tongue, not sure if I want to know what that means. “Like I bought a big enough diamond-heavy? Or oppressive-heavy?”
“No,” she says quickly, shaking her head. “It’s plenty big. I mean, yes, it’s heavy-big. It’s beautiful—perfect. I can’t believe it fits.” She looks back up to me, bewildered. “How did you get it to fit?”
Well, fuck. If that’s not the heavy she was talking about, that’s not good. I take another step and lower my voice. “It wasn’t hard. I’d memorize every inch of you if you let me, baby.”
Looking up to me, her eyes are definitely wet.
“Tell me what heavy means, Maya,” I demand.
I see her swallow and she drops her arms to her sides. “Significant?”
I tip my head. “Is that a question or an answer?”
She changes the subject to one I don’t like. “I’ve only known you for a matter of weeks, Grady.”
I narrow my eyes, not liking where this is going, but quickly say, “I’ve known you longer.”
She ignores me. “You know how my last relationship ended. It took me twelve years to realize it was bad and wrap that misery up, finally putting an end to it. It makes me question my judgment.”
I counter, “I’ve only ever questioned my judgment once, and that was after the fact—when I almost got myself killed. Besides that one time, I never once regretted a decision in my life.”
“So tell me then, Grady.” Her voice insistent and strong now, holding her hand out to me. “What does this mean?”
I take another breath and ask one more time, needing only one answer from her. We can figure the rest out later. “Don’t think about your past and don’t overthink this. Just answer one question. Do you want me?”
