Page 99 of Pages of Amber
She tried to sit up but a whimper left her at the pain that ran up her side. Hadn’t she suffered enough injuries?
The call of her name drifted to her, the sound echoing in her head. She blinked, trying to clear her vision as a figure shut the door to the room and ran up to her.
“You’re awake. Thank God you’re okay. I was so scared.” The face that approached her was as familiar as her own. Short blond hair, tired blue eyes, and tears marring her bare face. For the first time, her mother wasn’t the cold, distant person she had been for years.
“Mom, what happened? What’s Noah?”
“He’s okay. His parents are with him in the next room. He had a dislocated shoulder and sprained ankle, but the nurses have patched him up.”
She sank into her pillow with relief. Then the memories flashed in her mind. Spinning into the curb. The loud explosion. And the person who was determined to lead them to their doom.
“And Lexi?”
Her mom shook her head. “Her parents came up while you were resting. They wanted to apologize and pay for the hospital bills. They understand if we want to press charges but they wanted me to tell you that it was Lexi’s illness that got the best of her.”
Amber nearly sat up but was reminded of the pain. “What?”
Her mom took the seat beside to her bed, as though she needed to be seated for this next part.
“Her mom said Lexi suffered psychotic episodes when she was younger. The doctors said they was a good chance she would recover so they placed her on drugs and therapy. But a few years ago, it started to get worse and she was diagnosed with schizophrenia.”
Amber’s heart tightened in her chest. Lexi had never said a single word about any of this. Her mind raced as she pulled up every memory of Lexi. Had there been signs? Had Lexi ever seemed off with them at one point or the other? They’ve known each other six years. How could she have kept this so well-hidden from her and Beverly?
The bottle of pills.
The wild look she’d had in Director Meusall’s office.
The crazed look in her eyes right before she’d tripped Amber.
“They started to notice she was becoming obsessive, muttering things to no one, being sarcastic and snippy all the time, keeping dangerous tools with her. So, they tried to get help for her. She was supposed to leave next week to the Centre.”
“Where is she?” Amber asked, feeling like she had swallowed cotton balls.
“In custody. Even if we don’t press charges, it’s being seen as attempted murder and there are numerous witnesses to testify against her.”
“She’ll be sent to jail?” Her voice quivered.
Her mom reached out, holding onto Amber’s hand. The feeling was new, the action foreign after so long of being on opposite sides with her mother.
“Nothing is certain yet. The police are looking into it, but if she does go for treatment, she might still be sentenced to serve punishment years.”
Amber shut her eyes. Only a few hours ago, she’d been lying upside down in an upturned car, staring at the blood running down Noah’s temple. Her heart caved in, the tears she’s pushed away now rushing forward.
“She was never my friend. The Lexi I knew was a lie. She said so many hurtful things. That I ruined her life. That I had to die so she could replace me.” Sobs tore from her throat, echoing in the room. Her mom jumped to her feet, her hands running over Amber’s arm, avoiding her injuries. “I saw it in her eyes. She’s always hated me.”
She rounded the bed, coming to Amber’s side. Quickly filling a glass with water, she helped Amber to sit the refreshing drink without spilling any on herself.
“Mom.” She gasped out when the cup was empty. “You’re here.”
“Of course I am.” Her mother smoothed her hand over her hair. Her tough didn’t meet skin, instead it felt like there was a weight pulling her head down. She reached an unsteady hand up only to discover it was gauze wrapped securely around her head. “I thought I was going to lose you. I was so scared. I heard you scream so many times but I didn’t know what was going on or how to help you.”
Tears ran down her mom’s cheek, sending a lance of pain through Amber. Every part of her ached but the worst came from her heart.
“I’m so sorry.” Her mom sobbed, holding her close. “Forgive me for everything I said. I was lost to my grief, to my bitterness, my own self-hatred. I didn’t see a way out for myself so I dragged everyone down with me. I’m so sorry for the shell I became. I acted like you were something to control, an instrument for me to use. But that was so far from the truth. I was jealous of how you could live in the light while I barely survived in the darkness. You were always so happy and cheerful. A part of me wanted to break that. I wanted to see you as miserable as I was. I’ve lied to myself for years. I twisted the truth and pushed the blame on you.”
Her mom swiped at her cheeks. “Your father’sdeath tore me apart. A part of me died with him that day and I couldn’t see how life was meaningful without him. I lost the strength to be a good mother to you, but you stayed by my side no matter what. You didn’t curse me, you didn’t rebel, you were perfect. And I couldn’t help hating myself even more for my inadequacy in everything.”
“You’re talking about him. You never let me talk about Dad.” She cried, tears pouring for her face.
