Page 94 of Pages of Amber
Their exams ended today.
She was officially done with high school.
She’d done it. She’d finished the year.
She didn’t feel as happy as she should have been.
She unlocked her phone, the screen displaying an array of calls she had made to her mom over the month. All of which had gone unanswered. She knew there was little hope of getting her mom back. But she had to try to reach for her one last time.
“Hi, mom,” she said when the beep chimed. “How are you? I hope you’re doing okay. Dottie says you are, but I wish I could hear it from you. I know I’m probably the last person you’d want to talk to. I’m sorry for bothering you with voicemails. This will be the last one, I promise.”
She took a deep breath as the voicemail recorder rolled on. “I finished my exams today. I’m not a high schooler anymore which feels so unreal. I still remember how nervous I was on my first day at school. I’d started a week late and I was scared I was going to be lonely and have no friends. Things worked out though and now, I’m surrounded by these incredible friends. I wish you could meet them. Mr. Rhodes made dinner tonight. Nothing fancy but he said he wanted to do something nice for Mrs. Rhodes because she’d had a long day at work. They’re so cute together. It’s a beautiful thing to witness.”
She chewed at her lip. “We’ll be leaving on our trip soon. Everyone is busy with preparations but I’m still so nervous to meet the agent. What if she hates my book? What if I never get to become an author? I wish I could talk to you about it. I wonder if you’ll be proud of me or not. I wish I could see you, or hear your voice.”
The sob built in her throat, making it difficult for her next words to get out. “Mom, I miss you. I know I broke our family and I’m so sorry. But losing Dad didn’t mean I had to lose you too. I don’t know if you’ll get this. I just wanted you to know that I love you. Please come back to me.”
“This would look great on you.” Bev gasped.
Evelyn raised two fingers at a camera angle. “It would. I’m thinking hair down and a collar necklace.”
“Don’t forget a cute handbag.”
“We can add those peep-toes we saw at the entrance.”
“Perfect!”
Her friends squealed, drawing all eyes in the store to them. She’d let Beverly and Evelyn take over the shopping trip. They were way more excited about it than she was. Plus, she loved watching them bond. What she wasn’t loving was being relegated to their luggage carrier. Her arms were tired from holding bags and her feet hurt from running in and out of different stores the entire afternoon. But she had to admit, she was having fun. Her smile wavered when she realized it could have been four of them here, not three.
“Bev, you still haven’t heard from Lexi?”
Beverly froze, her smile falling. She sighed, fiddling with the hanger in her hand. “Nope. Her line doesn't even go through anymore. It’s like she's disappeared.”
A fist squeezed in her chest. She hadn’t shown up at school or taken the final exams with them. Amberhadn’t seen or heard from Lexi since that day in Director Meusall’s office. She shuddered at the memory of Lexi angry and accusing her. What had she ever done to make her friend hate her to that extent? The guilt had been gnawing at her for weeks.
“You okay?” Evelyn asked.
She sighed. “Just worried, I guess. I know she injured me on purpose and accused me of stealing her role, but we were best friends for nearly six years. I keep wondering what changed.”
The girls shared a sympathetic look. Dropping their armload of dresses, they settled beside Amber on the small couch near the changing rooms.
“You have a good heart,” Bev said. “I try not to think about her because I get so angry and upset over everything. But I feel guilty for pushing the memories away, then angry that I feel guilty. It’s such a vicious cycle.”
“Tell me about it.” Amber huffed. “Most days, I don’t want to even think about it but the worry sneaks in when I least expect it and I find myself wondering if she’s okay.”
“The worst thing about ending a friendship so abruptly is always the need for closure. To understand why and what went wrong. It’s okay to have those questions, Amber. But don’t let them get in your head.” Evelyn advised.
“I won’t. Amber leaned her head on her friend’s shoulder. “Now can we go home? I’m tired and hungry.”
“No way.” Beverly laughed, bringing back the jovial atmosphere. “You can’t be tired. We’ve barely looked for hats and scarfs.”
Amber groaned. “It’s one week out of town, not Paris Fashion Week.”
“Doesn’t matter.” Bev pushed to her feet. “You gotta dress to impress, Amber. And we’re dressing you for success.”
Amber groaned again, but obliged them, subjecting herself to more of the wardrobe torture. Hours later, as they made their way to Bev’s car, Amber slowed down to hike the bags in her arms a little higher when a flash of blonde hair startled her.
She turned sharply, causing one of the shoeboxes to topple to the ground, but apart from the three of them and a woman across the parking lot loading things into her trunk, all she saw were parked cars.
