Page 86 of Pages of Amber
Amber’s stomach rumbled in response. “That sounds really good.”
Mrs. Rhodes shot her another smile. “I could use a little help. If you’re willing to join me?”
Honestly, it would be the least Amber could do after this kind woman had accepted her, allowed her to stay in her home and provided her with meals and clothes until Dottie could bring her own. Mrs. Rhodes had been a constant shadow around Amber the past few days. They had formed a sort of routine where Amber came down for breakfast, helped Mrs. Rhodes with chores, then they sat outside on the deck until Noah returned from school. Ronan had gone back to college for his semester papers before the long holiday.
“I’d love to,” Amber answered. Her gaze fell on the laptop as she dug into her meal. A burning question had been on her tongue since the first morning she’d woken up here. “You work from home?”
Noah’s mom threw a glance over her shoulder as she set a pot on the stove. “Oh no, dear. I took a few days off from work. It was short notice but my boss had to agree that I hardly take time off.”
Amber blinked. “Short notice?”
“Well I wasn’t going to leave you in a strange house by yourself after the night you had.” Her gaze on Amber softened. “I’m here if you need a gal pal to listen, okay?”
The food soured in her mouth as tears filled her vision. They came easily these days, sneaking up on her and leaving her weak after each crying bout. Mrs. Rhodes rounded the counter immediately, settling in the seat beside Amber as she patted her hair in comfort.
Her unrelenting support pushed the words out of Amber.
“It was such a horrible fight,” she sniffled. “She was talking about sending me to Europe and I felt so sick and tired of her control over my life. I yelled. She yelled back. And then…” The tears came harder as the memory hit her all over again.
“Because you killed him. You killed my husband!”
“Take your time,” Mrs. Rhodes swept her hair off her shoulder. The gentle caress calmed Amber enough to hold back the tears.
“My dad died when I was eleven. He’d just enrolled me at Redmington and at the Fleur Elysian Theatre when he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. It wasn’t malignant at that point but the doctors advised he should get surgery. The treatment made him a shell of who he was, but we had hope that the surgery would put an end to it. Mom was over the moon when we were able to get the best doctors to come in for the surgery. But a few days before that, I had my first ballet performance coming up. I wanted him to come so bad.”
“Was he on bed rest?”
Amber nodded. “But he fought against his nurse and came anyway. I was ecstatic when I saw him in the second row. And after the performance, he gave me the biggest hug. I wish I’d known it would be the last hug I’d ever receive from him.”
“Oh, Amber.” Mrs. Rhodes sympathized. “What happened?”
Her throat was tight, fighting against her next words. “We returned to the hospital and we talked for hours until I fell asleep holding his hand. I woke up to my mom screaming and nurses rushing into the room.” Amber squeezed her eyes shut, replaying the devastation on her mother’s face. “She hates me. She never forgave me for taking him from her. For so long, I thought I had to be good, be obedient and make her proud, but it was never about earning her love. I didn’t realize I was dead to her.”
Her heart was torn in pieces, bitterness and regret welling up in her. “It’s my fault. I broke our home. I broke her.”
“Don’t say that,” Mrs. Rhodes chastised in a firm voice, despite the tears that had slipped from her eyes as she listened to Amber. “You are not at fault. You were only a child.”
“But I should have known better. He isn’t here because of me. She had every right to blame me, to hate me.”
“No, she doesn’t. Listen to me, Amber. She is your mother but that doesn’t excuse her actions or justify the cruel things she’s done to you. If she could bring someone as amazing as you into this world and be blind to it, then it’s her loss. Not yours. Never blame yourself for the inadequacy of others. You deserve more than that.”
Her words hit Amber in the softest part of her. She barely knew this woman who had shown her more kindness than her own mother. Her heart numbered for the affection she had been starved of her whole life, but another part of her was scared it would be dangled in her face only to be snatched away.
“Why are you so kind to me? I haven’t done anything to deserve it.”
“You know, it’s the person who thinks they are undeserving that actually needs kindness the most.” Mrs. Rhodes smiled at her. “You opened our eyes to our faults as parents, you make my Noah happy and you fit in my home like you’ve belonged here from the start.”
Amber’s heart soared at her words. She’d never had a strong sense of belonging but it began to take root in her as she basked in the feeling of rightness.
You fit. You’ve belonged here from the start.
Maybe it didn’t matter if she never went back to her house when she’d found a home to call hers.
“You have a beautiful soul, Amber. I saw it from the first moment we met. From all I see, you’ve more than earned your fair share of kindness. Lucky for you, in this home, there’s always extra to share.”
At the knock, Amber sprang to her feet. Mrs. Rhodes laid a comforting hand on her shoulder before she crossed the floor to invite Dottie in.
The sight of Dottie in the entryway, dark shadows and worry etched on her face, Amber crumpled. She rushed over, forgetting the ache in her feet and fell into Dottie’s arms, racking sobs escaping her. Dottie squeezed her tight, running her hands over Amber’s back. Having her here both broke and mended something in Amber. As she calmed down, Mrs. Rhodes invited Dottie in, grabbing the two duffel bags she’d brought. Mrs. Rhodes escorted them out to the patio and left them to talk in private.
