Page 74 of Pages of Amber
A gruff noise left the man. “He’s been here all weekend. He’s somewhere at the back, arranging a shelf he’s arranged twice already.”
“Oh.”
“I said I didn’t need him doing all that work and tried to kick him out. The little twat threatened he’d stop shopping here completely.”
Amber hid a snicker. “He did?”
“If you’d imagine it,” Mr. Arthur bellowed. “Said he’ll find someone else who values his hard work and might actually pay him. I should have thrown him out on his butt.”
She couldn’t hold in her laughter at the disgruntled look on his face. Noah was extraordinarily stubborn when he wanted to be. She should know. She had been on the receiving end of it for years before they had gotten closer.
Or at least when they had been closer. The thought sobered her, a frown now pulling on her face.
“I’ll go find him,” she said.
Mr. Arthur hobbled off to the counter. “Check around the Mystery section.”
She nodded and was off, her hands trembling with each step she took. It didn’t take long to find Noah. He leaned against the shelf at the end of the line, his focus on the book in his hand. His expression looked peaceful as he read. The usual scowl was gone. His brows weren’t drawn in boredom or skepticism. He was in a world of his own and Amber couldn’t bear the idea of pulling him out of it for her selfish reasons.
Her courage wilted. Pulling back, she turned to leave when she bumped into someone coming into the same aisle. The woman grunted at the collision, her eyes wide in shock as she peered down at Amber.
“Are you okay?” she asked immediately. “I wasn’t looking where I was going.”
“It’s fine.” What wasn’t fine was how her voice reverberated in the small aisle, successfully bringing Noah’s attention to them. Amber took a deep breath and prepared to face whatever came next.
Noah’s gaze met hers, those dark eyes flashing with something, but he remained in place, not moving as he stared at her. It seemed she had to make the first move. After all, she was the one who had sought him out. The stranger continued past them, leaving the aisle empty as she stood at one end and him on the other. For the first time, the silence between them was uncomfortable and suffocating. Amber wished it would be as simple as waving a wand and returning everything back to last week.
“Hi,” The greeting was low and quiet, sinking into the tension.
Noah said nothing.
“It’s good to see you here.” A nervous laugh left her. “Of course you’d be here. I’m the one who came to meet you. But I probably shouldn’t have come, right? You must hate that I’m here. But I had these thoughts and I wanted to tell you but…”
Deep in her soul, she fought the urge to cringe at the words spilling out of her. What was she saying? She was barely making sense. Amber startled out of her self-recrimination when Noah moved. He shut the book and reached to put it back on the shelf. A wave of panic washed over her, sending warning bells ringing in her head. He was going to leave. He would walk and she’d never get another chance to talk to him, to apologize, to fix this. She needed to say something!
“I’m the worst person ever,” was what tumbled out of her. Noah froze, the book barely in place. He blinked, turning his head in her direction. “I’m the worst person for what I said to you. I’ve been horrible to you from the start. I’ve insulted you, belittled you and yet you chose to tutor me. You opened your heart and your home to me. You’ve shown me more kindness and understanding than anyone I know, Noah. And I threw it all in your face. I don’t know how you can ever forgive me, because I can’t even forgive myself. But please, even if I’ve lost your friendship, even if I've lost you, I want you to know I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything. For picking fights with you, for jeopardizing your position, for yelling at you. I’ll be sorry for the rest of my life, but I need you to know that I regret every single thing I did to you.”
Tears streamed down her cheeks, her words stuttering out and accompanied by hiccups. This wasn’t the plan. She wasn’t supposed to garner pity by shedding tears. She had messed it up all over again. She really was the worst. Noah was still silent in the aftermath of her spiel, his gaze now tracking the tears that stained her cheeks.
Would he think she was trying to manipulate him with her tears?
Was he on the verge of telling her to never speak to him again?
Had he closed his heart to her forever?
She was dying to know what was running through his mind. She needed to know if she had lost him or if there was still hope. Her heart hung on by a string. What did it matter if his answer would be the final blow?
“Say something, Noah. Please,” she begged unashamedly. At this point, she was ready to do anything.
“I’m not mad.”
“I know I don’t deserve to ask you to forgive me. I took you for granted when I- what?”
“I’m not mad at you, okay?” At her dazed look, he sighed. His hands raked through his hair, the tired lines on his face tugging at her. “You couldn’t look me in the eyes while you were talking in the infirmary. Not once. That’s how I knew you didn’t mean anything you’d said. It hurt to hear, but it turns out seeing you cry hurt me more. The thought of being mad at you when you weren’t okay… it tore me apart. I couldn’t do it.”
An awkward silence. Amber wasn’t sure what to do, to think, to feel. Her vision clouded with tears.
Noah lifted his shoulders. “I guess it’s your turn to say something.”
