That left her with the option of trying to please Shane. Mia stripped out of her clothes and slipped on one of the slinky nightgowns from the dresser of skimpiness. As the evening progressed, she settled on the bed and tried to prepare herself not to fight him. No matter what he did to her, she had to remain passive and accept his touch.
Still feeling woefully unprepared for the challenge ahead, Mia’s heart gave a little lurch when her door opened a little after nine p.m. Her stomach rumbled when she saw Shane held a tray, reminding her she had fretted her way through dinnertime, and no one had sent food. Not that she expected them to since her status was questionable. Was she a guest or a prisoner? Mia didn’t want to press Shane’s limits to determine that answer.
It was a struggle not to hide under the blanket when he sat beside her on the bed. Instead, she tried to pretend that her breasts weren’t pressing out the top of the plunging neckline and that the lace covering her nipples was actually hiding something. With determination, she focused on the food as he sat the tray between them.
“Mmm, delicious.” She managed speech a few bites into her smoked salmon sandwich.
Shane nodded. As he moved his hand, she noticed the bandages across his knuckles. Without thought, Mia reached out to touch his nearest hand. “What happened?”
He lifted a shoulder. “Nothing.” His closed expression didn’t encourage her to probe.
Ignoring his subtle warning, she persisted, “Nothing doesn’t make you bleed.” Patches of red had soaked through the white bandages.
“It was an intense workout.”
She frowned. “You look like you beat yourself bloody.”
His eyes seemed cold when he regarded her without replying as he finished his sandwich. Watching him chew and swallow was having a surprisingly stimulating effect on her senses as she imagined that mouth moving over her.
The bite she’d just taken seemed to lodge in her throat, but she forced it down before setting the remains of her sandwich on the plate. “I’m full.”
He moved the tray without speaking. Even as he put his hand on her arm to draw her closer, he didn’t break the silence. It was unnerving, yet oddly arousing.
Mia didn’t say anything either as he smoothed her hair off her shoulder and kissed her there. Her stomach quivered at the tender motion, even as her instincts kicked in. She wanted to struggle against his hold, hating the sense of confinement even as she longed for Shane to crush her against him.
God, she was fucked up. Deciding the safest course was to remain passive, she forced herself not to move away and not react as his lips traveled up the column of her throat. His teasing nibble on her lobe tested her resolve, but she kept still.
Mia had to bite her lip forcefully to hold in a cry of pleasure when Shane cupped her breast in his hand, tugging gently on her hardening nipple with his thumb and forefinger. It was harder than hell not to react to his coaxing touches.
She didn’t resist when he turned her head to kiss her. Somehow, Mia kept her reaction minimal, only softening against him and opening her mouth when his tongue pressed against the seam of her closed lips. He probed the depths, but she remained passive. Inside, she was a writhing mass of need, and her panties would be soddened if she had bothered to wear any.
He broke away, his hand holding the back of her head in a grip that was a bit tighter than necessary. His dark expression revealed his annoyance. “We had an agreement, Mia.” Shane’s voice was hard and his eyes dared her to renege.
She swallowed the thick lump in her throat. “I know, and I’m trying. I’m not pushing you away.”
He scowled. “You aren’t engaging, either. I’d rather have the wildcat who fights my every touch than the piece of driftwood you’ve become.”
“I don’t know what you want from me, Shane.”
He cupped her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb. “I want you to let go and get swept away. I want you to be open and uninhibited, to enjoy fucking me without the self-loathing afterward.” The tenderness faded slightly from his voice. “I damn well want to make sure you’re worth going to war with the Peretti family and risking the wrath of my own boss, because that is the cost of keeping you—and I’m still determined to get full value.”
She took a deep breath. “I don’t know how to stop fighting.”
“Not responding at all isn’t the way to do it.” He cupped her face between both of his palms. “What is your body telling you to do?”
Mia sucked in a breath as the scorch of embarrassment heated her cheeks. “I want you to overpower me.” She looked away from him. “It’s sick…”
He applied enough pressure that his thumbs bit into her skin when he forced her to look at him. “It isn’t sick. It’s thrilling and hot as fuck. I like conquering you as much as you like losing.” The next kiss he gave her was a little less gentle but ended quickly. “We’ll play that way again soon, but tonight, I want it to be tender and sweet. I want you to have the experience you should have had for your first time.”
She frowned. “But why?”
He ignored that question. “This is a different kind of submission for you, Mia. I want you to fight your own urge to resist. Accept some gentleness.” His lips were lighter than a butterfly’s wing as he brushed a kiss against her nose. “Realize you deserve it, that you have a right to be pampered and pleasured by your partner.”
Her eyes widened. Was his amateur psychoanalysis somewhat on-target? Did she fight because that was all she had ever known, or did she subconsciously feel like sex had to be a battleground and that she deserved nothing more?
Intellectually, Mia knew Aldo had used her in sordid ways that she’d had no control over, and she was a victim. Sometimes, on a visceral level, she still couldn’t help feeling like a dirty slut for letting him, even though she had fought.
If she fought Shane, she would get what she wanted without having to accept any responsibility for the decision. Giving in to his request not to fight was so much harder because it was making a conscious decision to have sex with him and enjoy it, regardless of how fucked up things were between them.
